His Prisoner

I'm Leaving [31]

Meredith

The days I spent in the hospital following the accident was torturous. I lost my baby. I didn't know how to deal with that except stay silent and cry myself to sleep. I've never felt so much pain before. The death of my parents doesn't even compare to the pain I'm feeling right now. To have a human being growing inside of you for five months, only to be taken away from you is something I can't even put into words. 

Emily came to visit me every day. She didn't care that I barely spoke a word to her, she still came in and sat in silence with me. She cuddled me when I cried and cried with me sometimes. She was so excited for this baby, for her little niece. I hate that I've done this to her. I've done this to myself. I should have paid more attention to the road instead of stressing so much about Eliot. I blame him just as much as I blame myself. 

Chase also visited me a few times. The first time he came to see me, I burst into tears as soon as I saw him. He was quick to sit beside me and hold me tightly in his arms as I sobbed against his chest, soaking his shirt. I'm pretty sure he shed a tear or two that day but he will never admit it. 

It's now the seventh day I've spent at the hospital and it's finally time for me to go home. It's strange because since spending every minute in that boring sterilised room, all I've wanted to do is go home but now that this day has arrived, I'm scared. I don't want to leave the secure comfort of this room. I don't want to face reality. I don't want to go back to being a non-pregnant young adult with no goals in life. 

"Hey Mer, you ready to go?" 

I glance up from the white tiled floor into the soft eyes of Emily. She's standing at the end of my bed, a bag in one hand and a hoodie in the other. I'm already dressed out of that dreadful paper hospital gown into comfortable tracksuit bottoms and a loose fitted top.  

Emily holds the hoodie out to me, a small smile appearing on her lips as I reach out for it.

"Thanks." I whisper, unable to return the gesture. 

I slip on the hoodie and then Emily passes me my crutches so that I can stand.

"You sure you don't want a wheelchair?"

"No, I'm fine."

It might take me a little longer to get out of this place but I'm not being wheeled around it that annoying thing. It's embarrassing. 

"OK, let's go then." 

I follow Em out of the hospital slowly. She had discharged me while I was getting changed so I was free to leave in my own time. Luckily, her car is parked at the entrance so I don't have to hobble too far in this bulky cast. Em helps me into the passenger seat and then we're driving home. 

I've thought a lot about what to do now. I've made a decision on what happens now that I've left the hospital and no longer have my little girl growing inside me. I just haven't told anyone of my decision yet. 

The car ride is silent as Em drives home. It's only about ten minutes from the hospital. I stare out the window, trees flying past in a blur as the sun shines brightly above them. It's a nice day. Cold but bright. It is almost Christmas after all. I was half expecting to see snow as I came out of the hospital.

"We're here." Em says softly as she pulls up to the iron gates. 

I briefly flashback to the moment I ran out of them before being hit by a car. I won't be doing that again. The gates open and Em slowly drives through until she stops outside the house. I sit for a moment gazing up at the house. I'm nervous. I haven't seen Chase for a couple of days or Eliot's parents.