The Bad and The Broken

Chapter 49

Dawn's POV

"You've gone soft," Jesse says.

I furrow my brows and look at him.

"What?" I ask in utter confusion.

He chuckles and looks at me.

"You've gone soft," he repeats.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, clearly confused.

"What I mean is that you used to be... this don't-give-a-shit kind of girl. Even though Jim is the way he is, you used to be rebellious," he smiles, "you had this attitude that you used with him, it was like you were always trying to piss him off. You always had something to say- whether it be calling him a pig or telling him what a piece of shi-" he stops and clears his throat, "Telling him what a piece of crap he is," he picks up his book bag and slings it over his shoulder.

I roll my eyes at his close swear.

"I remember this one time when we moved- I think it was when we moved to North Carolina. He was going over those stupid rules, and you interrupted him. You finished his sentence, then was like 'Can we go now? We have school, dumbass," he laughs as he opens the door and walks out, I follow behind him.

"You sported a busted lip for a few days, but you also knew it would happen," he continues.

We walked out the door, and start our trip to school. I limped a little, no surprise there, though.

Dad had walked into the house while I was making dinner and I didn't hear. He heard me singing, which I'm not aloud to do.

"I never really noticed," I say as I pull my sweat pants up, "I guess I never thought about my actions, and now I do."

"No offense, sis, but I miss that Dawn," he teases, "I mean.. I don't miss you getting hurt over it, but I miss how care-free you were. You having that attitude with the way he treats us was pretty badass."

I chuckle.

"Well then maybe I should get to working on it," I nudge him with my elbow.

"Speaking of, I saw you at lunch facing everyone. You weren't hiding," he smiles enthusiastically, "you're already half way there!"

I roll my eyes. I remember those days. I never cared about hiding because no one ever took notice in me. Now someone does, but he hasn't been any more...

"Hm.. maybe I should loosen up a little," I say thoughtfully.

"I agree, you're too young to be so stressed," he says.

"Well Jim doesn't help with the stressing," I say, stating the obvious.

"You can still be a little more relaxed at school, Dawn," he rolls his eyes.

I don't reply for a few minutes.

"I guess you're right," I sigh.

"I'm always right."

****

I thought a lot about what Jesse said during first period.

Thinking back to it, I also miss how I used to be. I didn't care about the beatings I got, I wasn't scared to get hit.

What's happened?

As I sit in third period, I rest my head on my hand and watch the teacher write things on the board, but I don't hear a word she's saying.

I remember this one time when dad when beating me for smart-assing him. He had punched me, then got in my face and asked what I said, even though he already knew, and I replied by spitting in his face. I couldn't go to school the next day, but it was worth it.