.Rise And Fall.

.Rise and Fall. (61)

|Chapter: 61|

"Whyyy... you no wait it's mee... I'm dumb fucking dumb. How the fuck did... I-I even think I can have a chance with you... you goody two shoes with perfect grades and I'm the epitome of someone you want to have no businessss with riiighttt.....You know even if I go back to California and you're in New Haven, Connecticut it's like 3013.7 miles away to be precise.... how the fuckkk this happen", he slurred on the other side of the phone and then let out a laugh.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself down. My one hand gripping the phone tight to my ear and the other rubbing my temples as if to ease the tension. "Nick come home and let's talk or tell me where you are?"

"Home, the way you say home makes me want to run to you. Do you love me, Rena?"

"Of course I love you", I said meaning it.

"Then why are you leaving me?"

All of a sudden he was again emotional. I know the alcohol running through his system is resulting in his change of behaviour, but a part of me was angry and disappointed in him. He was being too dramatic for my liking now. It's not like I'm leaving in two days, for potato's sake I still have to submit my college application and then wait for it to get accepted, there's still a long process to go.

"We still have time. Now, please give me the address", I tried again as I stood up to collect my car keys from the nightstand and check the time, 12:03 am.

"I... I'm at..
..
...

"Nicky come here and take a shower. Keep the damn phone...", Stella's voice cut him off. I don't need him to tell me where he was anymore. I know now. Before I could say anything else, he hang up on me and it was like a sharp slap on my face, reminding me the time when she told me to stay away from him. Again that familiar burning feeling inside my chest was back and numerous thoughts ran through my mind.

There was only one think that was keeping me in my right mind - hope, a feeling of trust.

I kept the keys back on its place and sat down on my chair, pulling my hair into a messy bun I took out my books. What else could I do? Sleep? It felt as if even my own bed was mocking me. Without him is meaning to already a sleepless night and then there is him being with Stella is like a nightmare with my eyes wide open.

It's cruel how our mind could imagine things. I wish we didn't have that ability because it wasn't helping me anymore but taking me to endless conclusions. I stared long and hard on the lines of the book but nothing made sense and I know why. The first tear that trickle down my cheek confirmed it, due to my blurry vision, painful heart and over thinking mind. I covered my mouth and silently sobbed since mom was sleeping in the next room. Maybe this is how the first stage of heartbreak feels like.

No matter how many times I tried to remind myself that they are childhood friends and they always had each other's back. That's what friends do. And I trust him more than anything, I know he will never hurt me. But at the same time how could I deny the fact that they hooked up more than once and that wasn't helping me at all with the trust issue. Still a part of me trusted him and wished, no begged for him not to break it.

I started to feel tired of all the crying but I'm sure I'm not getting a tiny bit of my sleep tonight because my eyes have decided to go Niagara fall on me. At last I bury my face in my hands and sob even harder.

At 3:34 am, I tossed around on my bed like that would help me. Grabbing a pillow I covered my face and growled out frustratingly. Nickel Black can bring the best and the worst side of me.

Why didn't I stop him before jumping out of my window? Why did I let him go? Because I thought he need some time to think about everything happened or we talked about and come up with a way that we can work this out. Getting drunk and making things more complicated was never the option.