.Rise And Fall.

.Rise and Fall. (78)

|Chapter: 78|

Prom Night.

"Oh my God! You look gorgeous sweety", Mom said holding her chest and eyes filled with tears. She was acting over the broad so I rolled my eyes at her playfully smiling. My face was starting to hurt from all the fake smiles now, and the throbbing head pain wasn't making it any better. I didn't get a wink of sleep for two days and if it was not the make up, I'd 105% sure look like a zombie.

..Flashback..

"You. I need you."

I felt numb encountering his words at first, then the pain came back. I gripped the dressing table to stop myself from falling. "Why? So you can break me again?", I whispered.

He sighed pushing some loose strands out of his face as he sat down on my bed, shoulders sloughed. "I didn't cheat on you, I swear."

"Why should I believe you and not my own eyes?" I narrowed my eyes at him. Playing back the scene of him kissing that blonde, I felt the same anger builting up in me. It's like old wounds were cut open and exposed to the air. It didn’t hurt any less even though time passed.

It was so deep that even time couldn't heal it. That's how he left me, torn and broken.

He laughed bitterly making me stare at him like he has gone crazy. Did he hit his head somewhere? He was finding my miserable and pathetic state funny, my anger doubled for that. Before I could shout at him to get out of my life and never show his face, he spoke with void tone like he lost all his interest and was finally tired.

"Imagine being in love with a girl for more than seven years, craving her attention and all she do is ignore you like you're not even worth looking at. She made me crazy till the point I joined a gang just to have her out of my mind. I know sounds like a coward move, doesn't it?", he asked staring right into my eyes. I was speechless. Who is that girl? And why is he telling me, didn't he break to me enough already. I stayed rooted to the spot holding the table like my life depended on it. He took my silence and continued, "I dreaded on the idea that I had any chance with a past that could easily scurry her away from me. Young and dumb fifteen year old me thought becoming an addict will help me forget her.. if only I knew she was was stronger than any drug. And I was addicted to her."

I couldn't breathe with the way my heart was constricting with pain, as if someone was squeezing it. If he had someone he love so much, why play with my feelings? What did he gain from all these?

"I accepted being called a curse to the family, and all the disgusted look because I deserved it. I felt almost numb, but the love I felt for her always brought a light feeling making me know I wasn't heartless which means I'm not fully monster afterall, my only little hope to be with her.. that was until she called me monster herself and I was lost in the darkness again.. she.."

"Stop. Stop it please", I fell on my knees. I couldn't take it anymore, the person who became like the air I breathe talking about another girl with so much love, the kind of love I wish he felt for me. I sobbed.

In no time, he fell on my side and pulled me to his chest. I felt so weak that I had no power to push him away, and cry harder in his arms. Hate, is just a word I use to escape from my true feelings. Why can't I hate him?