At His Service (SLOW UPDATES)

Chapter Forty-Four ✓

Arran's POV:

"It was a mistake," you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you." ― David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary.

Love was strange.

It taught me to fall for Sophia so hard that I couldn't breathe without her but it didn't matter how much I loved her, it didn't matter how good I was to her, it didn't matter how much I valued her, in the end... it didn't matter at all.

I was naïve when it came to love. I believed in falling in love at first sight. I saw her; I fell for her and I fell for her hard.

Love made me vulnerable. She came in my life, no different than any other girl I'd met and one look was all it took... I gave her a piece of myself. 

People around me were cautious of her. They tried warning me but I didn't listen. She came in my world like a storm. She picked me up from my feet and in the end she left behind a trail of destruction.

I do believe she loved me... at one point. She taught me sometime the people you love the most turns out to the people you can trust the least.

There's no guide in the world that teaches you how to get over broken heart or how to get over betrayal. I've always wondered what would betrayal feel like. Growing up I was always loved by everyone... my friends, my family, I was adore by everyone. I had a brother I could count on, friends who were loyal to me, and a girlfriend who loved me.

Then it happened.

Denial.

At first I denied.

I refused to believe what they did to me. I sought after her. I begged her. I told her I'm willing to forgive her... that we can still have a future together. When she laughed and told me I was worthless... I was hurt.

Hurt.

It hurts like hell. When you love someone more than they deserve, they will fucking hurt you more than you deserve. Countless nights were wasted by allowing myself to wallow in my own misery, all because of her.

Anger.

Then came the anger. How fucking dare they! I made sure to wipe every memory of them that I had in my mind. I became ruthless. I was never good at sharing my emotions. I did with one person only and she turned out to be the reason why I shut myself from everyone and hurt those who actually cared.

I never trusted anyone ever again. I kept people away from me. I distanced myself from my friends and family. I became emotionally detached.

Was it worth it?

I wasn't sure anymore.