insecurely confident

CHAPTER 12: Old Memories

I woke up alone in Blane's bed. I knew he wasn't at school cause he said he would stay home with me and take care me. I was fine but i wouldn't pass up a chance of him being all nice and sweet.

I took a shower and went to the kitchen for breakfast. Blane had already prepared breakfast ans was waiting for me.

"I almost thought you would sleep till the afternoon"

"Goodmorning to you too Saint John"

He came closer to me and held my head. He planted a kiss on my forehead and said
"Goodmorning Martinez"

I felt my heart beating. I wasn't used to him being all sweet. But it felt warm and welcoming. Almost alluring.

We sat down and talked for a while as we ate. I told him thank you for the yesterday. He did take care of me. Ian called me today morning and asked me about how i was.

We were in the sitting room watching tv. I took the remote and reduce the volume.

"Blane can i ask you a personal question and please don't mad"

"I was wondering when you'll me about my mom?"

"How did you know that"

"I could see how curious you were yesterday but i do i appreciate you not asking me about it then"

"It's okay I just want to know better and i was really surprised but please don't feel obliged to tell me"

"Get up follow me"

I was hesitant at first. But i got up and followed him. He took me to the home theater room. He ushered me inside and told me to sit down.

He played the tape from when he told me to get out. But he played it from the start. It showed Blane being placed in his mother's hands. She held him and smiled and said his name. But after she did she passed out. The

Adam his dad was standing next to them when he screamed at the nurse to take the baby away as he held his wife. The doctor rushed and checked on his mother. He signed and shock his head. His mother was dead. Adam was crying he even sat on the floor. He got up and came closer to the camera i presume he was talking to the person holding the camera he said that he did not want anything to do with the cursed child. He had taken what he had treasured most in the world. Before he finished talking the video was over.

Blane's eyes were dry. I could see how hurt he was. He looked as if he hated himself for what happened to his mother. Almost as if he also blamed himself like his father did.

"Blane I am so sorry for what happened to your mom but it wasn't your fault"

"How can you say that Victoria. Even my own father said it was my fault."

"I don't think your mother would want you to feel this way "

"At least now you know why he and Cici are not around alot"

"So Cici is your step mom"

"Technically she is my aunt, she is my mom's sister, they had the same name, Cecelia , but it was too confusing hence Cici. She took care of me even tried to make dad stay home more but he refused he said he couldn't handle seeing me for longer than two days"

"I don't know about your Dad Blane but i know that your mom doesn't blame you for her death neither should you "

"Thanks Victoria, i was alone for a long time just had different nannies every 2 months so that i won't het too attached to any of them but i found Sam and Alex they became my family and i am very sorry for what he did to you but he was not that bad as a friend"

" I still hate Sam but i am happy that he was there for you when you needed someone"

"He was. I told you all this so that you would can understand me better and we could know more about eachother. It also why i am sometimes uhm difficult"

I laughed so did he. "I guess i understand"

I pulled him in for a hug and we stayed like that for about ten minutes then i thought about opening up to him you know cause we were sharing and all.

"Since we're opening up "

"You don't have to tell me about anything you don't want to Martinez"

"But i want to so shut up and listen"

"You are so bossy... I'm listening"

"Logan Martinez also known as my father... When i was small i was uhm chubby obviously, it bothered him but my mom told him it was just my childhoodness or whatever and that the fat would reduce as i grew older but it didn't so when i was five i heard him and my mom argue he said that i wasn't his child since i was fat and he wasn't. He told my mom that he was leaving he wasn't going to raise someone else's fat kid." I sighed. I could feel the tears wanting to fall from my eyes i only told my boys this story but that was long ago.

"You don't have to tell me Victoria"

"No i really want to please let me do this"

"Okay"

"He left that night i saw him through my window with his bags he didn't even bother to tell me he was leaving. I got out and ran to my mom's room she was on the side of her bed crying her eyes out and i just went to her and hugged her she hugged me back. I asked her later on why dad had left she said that they had problems between them and that it had nothing to do with me. I knew she was lying but I didn't want to her to know i knew cause maybe what she told would be better to believe than the fact that he left because I was fat."

"Victoria i never knew about that. He doesn't deserve even the honour of being your father not even in paper cause you Martinez are the strong person i have ever met. You can be kind and compassionate. You don't let anybody bring you down and that Victoria i why i fucking Adore the shit out of you "

I laughed cause no one had ever said that to me.

"Back atcha the strong part the kind part definitely not you"

We both laughed.

"come on i'm not that bad."

My head was on his chest. I turned and looked at him. He looked at me then came in closer to my face. There was nothing i wanted more than to devour his lips but i turned my head just in time.

"Blane you have a girlfriend"

"Okay Gwen, not my freaking girlfriend I'm really getting tired of everyone thinking she is."

"So she is not your girlfriend"

"Yes Martinez. She and I nada"

"Nada" i said as i raised my eyebrow

"Nada Martinez, so can i kiss you know"

"Don't ask me stupid questions and kiss me already"

I said and he did just that. He kissed the shit out of me and i loved it.