You belong to me

Chapter 10

"No, I don't want to," I tell mother in a harsh tone. "Yes, eat something Sofia." Mom gestures with a spoon full of soup. "Ughh, it tastes like shit," I tell her with annoyance. "Thank you very much, young lady." Luckily, my mother knows I'm saying it lightly and not to insult her cooking skills. "Sorry Mom, but everything tastes like nothing," I explain to her with a frown. "I know, but it's eating my soup or the hospital dishes." She smiles warmly. I nod and give in. It's not the time or place to discuss this with my mother. I'm glad she has helped me through these tough days.

When she came to school a few days ago, I felt sick. In a few hours, I felt so horrible, but I thought I could get through detention. I was wrong and mom needed to pick me up. She drove me straight to the hospital where a doctor took some blood and made sure he examined everything to become to his conclusion. I had a severe form of bronchitis. If I had waited a day longer, it would become pneumonia and then I had to stay in the hospital for a few days.

The antibiotics are working, but I still need a few days before I can go back to school. "Did you hear from that boy?" Mom suddenly questions me, while looking at me. I lay my spoon back onto the plate and look up at her. "Mom, I don't want to talk about it," I tell her firmly. "Why?" She smiles too widely. "Because there's nothing between him and me okay." I try my best to assure her. "If you say so." She winks at me. I roll my eyes at her. "I'm going back downstairs, if you need me I'll be in the kitchen." Mom strokes my leg gently. "Thanks, Mom."

After a few spoons, my stomach twisted in a knot. I place the plate on my desk and crawl back under the sheets, opening my laptop. I almost slept the entire day, so I need to occupy myself a little or I'll have a sleepless night ahead of me. I got two texts from Miley. Of course, she's still hoping I'll be better to accompany her to that party. She's thinking about her own needs again as usual. I quickly text her back that I won't come along with her because I need to rest for a few days, so I can go back to school. If I don't tell her, she will get her hopes up and I don't want to go. Besides, I need to rest, and that's what I'm going to do.

Another text appears on Facebook. I almost grumble until I see it's a text from Michael. "Is it too much of an effort for you to at least send me a text in the past two days? I needed to hear from Miley you had severe bronchitis. I asked your mom if you could at least send me one text if you're okay, but I know you haven't listened to your mother. Your mother seems nice, but you are so stubborn."

What the hell is his problem? I don't need to explain myself to him. I heard him flirting with that blond girl. There was still a small part of me that thought he was sincere in his car. That he maybe felt a connection between us, but I thought all wrong when I heard him planning a date with that girl. I'm not stupid and not a toy he can play with whenever he wants to. I swallow my words back in, trying to ease my anger.

This is something I need to discuss with my therapist next month. I'm feeling so angry lately, and it's irritating me enormously. I place my finger on the keyboard and start typing.

"I don't need to give you any explanation. I'm fine as you heard from Miley." I reply shortly. I don't need the drama, so I kept my answer short, hoping he would back off.

"You weren't fine, Sofia! I had to carry you to your car! Miley told me the first day you were very sick and yesterday she informed me you would come to Tom's party. I saw you and I know she's talking shit. You were very sick and I know I don't earn your trust or an explanation, but I was anxious about you." He tells me.

Did Miley tell him I would come to that party? I frown and shake my head in disbelief. He must have heard her wrong for sure. Miley knew how sick I was. I couldn't even call her for five minutes the next day because I had to cough the entire time. God, this is too much for me at this moment. I roughly shut my laptop and throw it at the end of my bed. I'm fucked up right now. Why do I care if he likes me or not? If he has been sincere to me all along? Next year he will be gone to university and then I'm back to square one with a friend I can't completely understand. It's fucked up everything.

I never meant to feel like this again. Life was pretty simple before I crashed against his chest. Therapy once a month, a friend that likes my presence, and a loving family. Now things have become complicated, and I don't know how to feel or to react now. It's a shitty age of sixteen. I'm still learning about who I am and the person I want to be.

I let myself fall back on my pillow, heading under my sheets for my sorrows- sorrows I can't hide from even if I would try. My dark thoughts are present each step of the way, trying to crack the solid wall that I try to keep strong. My depression from two years ago was a very tough time. I thought I would end up in some facility for broken souls and ill people. Mom and Dad assured me I would get all the help I needed to get my strength back by three times a week going to a therapist, and they were right. In two months I was a different person, but that dark thoughts sometimes try to slip through the net.

They are slow killers, taking everything from you until there's nothing left anymore, but a broken soul. I don't want that anymore, so I need to protect myself against everyone that tries to break the wall I build for myself. I need to protect my own heart and mind at all costs.