forty seven.

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   Four weeks ago, I found out my dad has cancer.

   Since then, tour with the boys ended, I went back to Barbados to visit my parents, got into a huge fight with said parents - mostly my mother, and brought Sandy, my beloved little dog, back to Los Angeles with me.

   I can't wait to go back home tomorrow, home being LA. I'd just rather be anywhere but here in this house with my parents. I'm sitting on the couch in the living room while my mother cooks us lunch. Harry is on the phone with me, thank god, so I don't have to talk to mother dearest right now.

"You're going to be okay on the flight back, right?" Harry checks in on me, this phone call being the last he'll hear from me since my flight leaves in a few hours.

"Yeah, I think all the flying with you guys helped my anxiety with planes because I wasn't really as anxious on the flight coming up here." I stare up at the ceiling and imagine Harry's eyes because I miss seeing them in person.

"I'm glad." he says. "I hope this one is the same."

"Me too."

"Hails, food is ready." my mother calls for me and I sigh.

"Coming!" I respond to her. "H, I have to go, I'll see you soon." I tell him as I start to stand up and make my way towards the kitchen.

"Alright, bye Angel. Have a safe flight, I'll be there to pick you up as soon as you land." I imagine him smiling as he speaks.

"Can't wait to see you bébé."

"Can't wait to see you too. I love you." His words bring a smile to my face, my first full smile since I woke up this morning.

"I love you." I say to him right before I enter the kitchen.

Harry and I say goodbye one last time before we hang up and I'm met with my mother standing in front of me, resting a plate by my seat at the counter.

She laughs, not a genuine laugh but one that I recognise and hate. I look at her in question and she says, "You're so fake."

My jaw hangs open slightly. "What?" I try my hardest not to have a 'rude tone' as she likes to call it.

"When you're talking to your friends or whoever, you act so fake compared to how you act around your family." she says casually and takes a sip of her water.

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