Here For You | JunHao

六

The two boys were in Junhui's room. It was a little bigger than Minghao's room, but Minghao's was more aesthetically pleasing.

They were both lying down on the bed each reading a book of their choice.

Junhui was staring at the younger boy who was reading peacefully.

"Jun, if you want to say something, go ahead." Minghao said, still focusing on the book on his hands.

"I-It's nothing." Junhui looked back at his book.

Minghao closed his book and sat back up on the bed. "You've been looking at me for the past 20 minutes. You've been strangely quiet since this morning in school. You also invited me in your house earlier, but all we're doing is reading when I know that you're not even the type to read."

Minghao put the book he was reading on the small table beside Junhui's bed. "Oh and also, your book was upside down the entire time."

Junhui looked at his book and chuckled. "Hao, why do you know me so well?" His smile slowly disappeared into a frown.

"What's wrong?" Minghao asked as he looked at the older boy with concern.

Junhui sat up to face the younger boy. "My girlfriend and I..." Tears started to well up in his eyes. "We broke up."

The younger boy went closer to Junhui.

Junhui placed his head on the younger boy's chest, sobbing.

Minghao placed his hands through the other boy's hair, combing through his soft brown hair.

This wasn't the first time Junhui had experienced a breakup. Others have lost count of how many partners Junhui had in his seventeen years of life.

Seven. He's had seven girlfriends.

And five. Five flings.

Others may not remember, but Minghao does. He remembers each time.

Because each time was painful for him.

Each time was a rejection for him.

Each time was a reminder for him.

Jun likes girls. Jun doesn't like you. You can never be with him. You will only get hurt in the end. Jun is straight. He will never look at you in that way. Even if he does, you'll only be one of the many partners that he's had. Are you really willing to risk that? Are you willing to risk not being by his side? Are you willing to risk what you have with him now?

He was not. Minghao was scared. All kinds of thoughts went through his head during these times.

Secretly, Minghao was a little bit happy whenever Junhui broke up with someone. He thought that maybe... just maybe... he might have a chance..

A chance that Junhui would miraculously look at him in the same way he looked at Junhui.

A part of him felt bad about having these thoughts. He knew that the older boy was sad. He could see the tears flowing down the boy's face.

He knew that he was being selfish by wanting more than this.

By wanting to be more than friends.

He knew it, but why is it that he couldn't stop himself? Why couldn't he stop himself from loving him?

Minghao knew that Junhui had a side of him that could be a big flirt with other people.

Or rather... other girls.

Junhui being a fuckboy should lessen the amount of love Minghao has for him, right?

Wrong.

He wished it did.

He knew it all along and yet here he is. Comforting the person he loves from another one of his many breakups.

It was always like that.

Even though Junhui had multiple partners, each breakup had always ended in him crying his heart out.

And each time, Minghao was always the one to comfort him.

"It's okay. I'm here for you. It's okay." Minghao said, softly running his hands through the other boy's hair. "You still have all of us. It's okay. I'm always here for you."

Junhui was just there, sobbing while holding the younger boy in his arms.

The younger boy's warmth comforted him. It gave him strength even by a little.

After moments of sobbing, the older boy lifted his head up to look at Minghao.

The younger boy gave him a smile and wiped the tear on Junhui's cheek.

It was a smile that reassured him.

A smile that said,

I'm always ready to listen whenever you're ready to tell me.

That evening, the two boys just lay down in Junhui's bed together.

After Junhui had calmed down, he told the boy everything that had happened.

And as usual, Minghao was there to listen.

"...And she told me that she liked someone else now and that she didn't like me anymore." Junhui said, facing the ceiling.

Minghao hummed in response.

He took the older boy's hands left hand and softly massaged it.

It was something Minghao did whenever Junhui was feeling down. It helped the older boy calm down.

"She was just done with me." Junhui said, placing his right hand on his forehead.

Junhui turned to his side to face the younger boy who was caressing his hand. "Is there something wrong with me, Hao? Am I not enough?" He was about to tear up again.

Minghao gripped the boy's hand. "Jun, you know that isn't true. You're more than enough. You are, trust me. Anyone who can't see nor feel that, didn't deserve you in the first place."

Junhui looked at the younger boy and slightly smiled.

He felt that Minghao would always be there for him.

That he would always be by his side, ready to listen.

"Hao, can you stay over for today?" The older boy asked, even if Minghao's house was about five minutes away.

"Of course." The younger boy replied.

"Thanks." Junhui smiled.

"Your future partner will be very lucky to have you. She might just be the luckiest person alive." Junhui added.

Minghao felt his heart getting stabbed a million times.

It hurt him all too much.

It just reminded Minghao further that he had no chance to be with him.

To be with Junhui.

Junhui didn't know that Minghao liked boys.

Minghao hadn't had the courage to tell him. He didn't know when he ever would or if he would ever even tell him.

Jun is straight. He does not like boys. Jun does not like you. He doesn't have any feelings for you.

Minghao knew it all too well.

He managed to endure the pain and got a smile through.

"Good night, Hao." Junhui said, closing his eyes and dozed off.

"...Good night, Jun." Minghao turned to the opposite of Junhui.

A tear dropped from the younger boy's cheek.

His hands on his mouth, stopping himself from making any sound.

And cried himself to sleep.

END

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"When I was crying, nobody knows it aside from my pillow."

- The8 (Xu Minghao)