Here For You | JunHao

三十三

"Wow, it's been a while since the two of us have been here together, huh?" Yanan sat back on the bench.

Minghao hummed in response, gazing upon the cloudy skies.

"Do you still remember the first time we met? We were drunk and somehow ended up kissing." Yanan chuckled. "Oh, I think we were sitting right over there!" He pointed to a spot in the grass near the river.

"Yeah, we were." Minghao looked to the direction Yanan had pointed in. "It really has been a while. It's been two years since that happened..."

"Yeah." Yanan turned to Minghao. "By the way, have you told Junhui about your plan to move out after graduation?"

"No, I haven't." Minghao sighed. "I've told Gyu and Won, but I didn't tell Jun yet."

"He's still taking his Master's Degree after graduation, right?"

Minghao nodded.

"When are you telling him about it? Graduation is next month."

Minghao looked down. "I don't... I don't know. He's out of the apartment most of the time. If he's inside, his girlfriend's also with him. I don't really know when."

"Have you found a place to stay in?"

"I asked my friend, Soonyoung, if I could stay at his place for a month or two just until I find my own place. He said it was okay."

"Soonyoung...?" Yanan placed a finger on his chin. "Ah, the one you said that also danced?"

"Yeah, he's working at the place I want to work in and he lives near it."

"What about finances?"

"I might have to juggle working part-time and dancing together."

"It's gonna be difficult since they're both physically draining activities."

Minghao scoffed. "When was life is easy?"

"Yeah." Yanan closed his eyes. "Life is..." He glanced at Minghao. "...difficult."

The two boys just sat there for a moment, hearing only the sounds of the water flowing, the grass rustling, and the breeze moving.

"Haoie, there's something I've been wanting to tell you." Yanan said, taking Minghao's hand in his.

"Are you pregnant?" Minghao giggled, but stopped as he saw the seriousness in Yanan's face. "Sorry."

"Haoie, I love you." Yanan swallowed before continuing. "Can... can you love me too?"

No words had come out of Minghao's mouth for the next ten seconds. The air around them had become much denser.

Yanan already knew.

He didn't need to hear Minghao's answer.

And frankly, he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear Minghao's answer.

"I'm sorry, Yanan." Minghao looked down. He couldn't bare to say it while looking at him in the eye. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's okay." Yanan said, placing his hand on the boy's ear, caressing his hair. "I'd be lying if I said that I didn't see it coming."

Minghao's hair was no longer the silver color it was like back then. It had been a year and a half since Yanan had helped dye Minghao's hair.

He looked up and saw a smile on Yanan's face. The smile was bright, but Minghao had felt a hint of sadness lingering on the bright smile. He knew all too well what the smile meant. After all, Minghao used the same smile too many times to count.

Minghao didn't know what on earth he could possibly say or do to ease Yanan's pain. He, himself, knew just how much it hurt.

"To be honest, it hurts a bit more than I thought." Yanan chuckled. "I thought I was prepared for it."

"Yanan, I'm sorry..."

"Hey, I already told you. It's okay. I understand. I knew... I already knew from the start." Yanan looked down. "I knew that 'we' weren't going to be. Even though I knew, I still hoped..."

Minghao slowly took Yanan's hand. "I'm sorry, Yan... You've done so much for me, but I-I haven't done anything for you." A tear escaped Minghao's eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Yan..."

"Why are you crying?" Yanan wiped Minghao's tears. "If anything, I'm the one who's supposed to be crying 'cause I just got rejected." He chuckled. "So, don't cry, Haoie."

"I'm sorry..."

"It's okay." Yanan rubbed the boy's cheeks. "Stop crying already. The Haoie I know is straightforward, witty, sassy, and may be just like a thug sometimes."

Minghao gave out a tiny chuckle amdist the tears that kept flowing. He wiped his face with his hands.

"You don't have to worry about me. You don't have to feel bad. It's not your fault." Yanan pat the shorter boy's hair. "You look so much better when you're giggling." He smiled. "Can I have one last hug, at least?"

Minghao immediately gave the taller boy a hug.

"W-We'll stay on good terms, right?"

"Of course. I'll be sad if you stopped talking to me just because we broke up." Yanan ruffled the boy's hair. "Thank you, Haoi-" He corrected himself. "-Thank you, Minghao, for giving me a chance." Yanan broke off from the hug. "I have to go now, Minghao. I'm not sure how long I can stay smiling."

Minghao watched as Yanan had slowly walked off.

Yanan was a dear friend to him.

Someone who listened to all his problems and concerns.

Someone he could trust.

And someone who loved him.

He wished that he could give Yanan as much love as Yanan gave to him, but...

I'm not sure if I can love anyone else other than Jun.

I'm sorry, Yanan.

Thank you for everything.

END

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A/N: Your ship is who again?