Unintentionally Falling

chapter eight

Iris

"Girl, why are you shrieking? We're watching a horror film which is the only acceptable time for you to make that noise." Her head tilts to the side as she continues. "Plus you kind of sound like a dying crow."

I ignore her last comment about the dying crow. Why? Because it was kind of true. But I would never admit it to her. My hands straight to my hair as a squeeze clumps of my hair, feeling the urge to rip it out.

"If you pull any harder on your hair, it may come out. I'll have to buy you one of those wigs 'cause I'll feel bad for you." Crystal sighs, the top of her pencil laying on her lip covering one of her infamous smirks.

"Shut up." I start at page fifty-three before I metaphorically feel my spirit leaving my body. "This textbook page Crystal..." I stumble over my words.

"What is it? Is there something wrong with it?" Crystal presses. 

Pain. Pure pain, that's what this is. I sigh out a giant breath and squeeze my eyes tight, "I just didn't think it has this many words. There are so many words it makes my head hurt."

Maybe, if I bang my head on the desk so hard maybe I'll fall into a coma and not have to take the test tomorrow.

"Don't worry about it, just get through this and you'll be fine. You're a smart girl." She responds with words of encouragement for the first time in quite a long time.  Although it was quite short-lived. "I'm starting to question whether you've actually read any sort of novel. Books have words if you didn't know that already. 

My mind flashes to the day on the bench where I saw Aaron. I remember observing his extremely sharp jawline and fluffy hazelnut brown hair.  He would constantly run his fingers through it while reading his book without a care in the world. My hands itched at the cafe to touch his beautiful hair.

I almost wonder what his expression would be if he found out I was complaining about words in a book. Would he think that my cries of sorrow over words are a trivial matter? Would he snicker at what a spoiled bitch I'm acting like?

I squint my eyes at the page and tilt my head. Reading all of this can't be that hard... could it? My eyes start glazing over the words as I pick which words and paragraphs are of importance to write down in my notes. See that Aaron? I'm not a lame-ass person who can't read a simple page.

"What's got you so fired up that you've started reading?" Crystal marvels.

"What can I say? I'm a model  student." I quip back with a shrug and hear a snort.

Goodbye. A voice echoes inside of my head as my eyes flutter from the noise. It's been two hours since My 'study Facetime' with Crystal.

My eyes slowly try to go back to sleep, but the voices get louder. More specifically it sounds like my father's muffled voice from downstairs of that night.

I'm not concerned right now if you don't want to be with me, what about our children? Can't you see what would happen in the long run? I'm fine if you want to run off, but they need their support from their mother.

Hot tears streamed down my face as I tried to hear my father. Peter, I can't fucking believe you right now, you just saw me with another man and you're talking about our children.

Don't be upset that I'm putting them first. You don't even have a right to be upset. You were the one cheating! I heard glass smashing, and then a string of fucks and shits from my mother and a 'don't touch me'  from my father.

Fuck this, Fuck everything, fuck you, Peter! Go fuck yourself. I wish you and the fucking rest of them the worst.

My head snaps up from my half-dream state and my stomach is flip-flopping-- in the bad way of course. I'm in a sweat, forcing myself to not think about it. But I can't stop, I don't know why.  Fuck, why is this in my head? I hate it. I hate her.

I remember quietly tip-toeing downstairs and seeing the shards of glass on the ground. My father's silent cries were so vivid, and I noticed the deep cut with crimson liquid that rushed out of his skin. His eyes were puffy, there was a mix of bewilderment, sadness, and vexation etched deeply into his face.

***********

 Alexia is currently talking about this latest fashion trend she saw on Instagram that she detests with all her heart while we walk around campus.

People walk by in both directions and they mostly smile or wave even though we both don't even know their names.

"It's just so fucking ugly I can't even believe that people like that shoe." She flails her hands exasperatedly.

"Yeah, I understand you they're ugly as fuck." The words come out like a programmed response.  Butterflies currently occupy my stomach with anticipation for my test.

"Iris?" Alexia snaps her fingers over my eyes to catch my attention.

My eyes shift to her while she suspires deeply, her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose, "Did you even listen to my last question?"

I gulp watching one of her perfectly shaded eyebrows go up while the other stays down.

"No, why..."

"Oh, I was just asking you if you're free tomorrow. Mom's offering you to come over for dinner."

The way Alexia put it, it sounds innocent to anyone else's ear but the way Alexia said "offer" I knew that the 'offer' that Mrs. Aguero told Alexia, wasn't really an offer. I'm like her child and she expects me to come home alongside Alexia for holidays, events, etc. 

"Yeah of course I'll be coming." I smile at Alexia, seeing her bubblegum pink hair flow 'cause of the wind.

I did a damn good job as a hairstylist, someone better sign me up 'cause I think I've got some untapped talent. Many say I'm good with my hands and I finally can tell them why.

"You better be, asshole. Also, guess who got an eighty on her history essay?" Alexia smugly points to herself.

 "Proud of you." I feel like a proud mother staring so lovingly at my child, although I'm not the mom of the friend group. 

None of us are, Crystal's a snarky little ass, and Alexia is calm, and level-headed but can also show an immense amount of emotion.

And well... I'm perfect, obviously, totally perfect. I'm a little mix of both with an insane amount of charm, quick-wittedness, beauty and intelligence that is swoon-worthy to everyone.

Or at least those were the words my dad told me when I was like five but that's one of my biggest achievements anyways.

~~

an: we hit 150 reads. just wow.

just thank you.

that's all <3

LeLe