Unintentionally Falling

chapter thirty-five

Iris

I fucking love dinner. I love breakfast, lunch and brunch but dinner tonight was fantastic.

Dad held a little barbeque in our backyard, it was pretty early for some to eat this early. Barely five hours past noon, but I wanted to go and hang out in the city for a little bit before we went home.

He's placed out tons of grilled meats ranging from hamburgers to hotdogs and salads and sugary drinks. Not to mention alcohol, but I'm not going to go crazy on drinking tonight even though technically it's free and not from my pocket.

I loved moments like these, sitting in a circle with your friends while laughing about the most insignificant things. A memory to look back on with a fresh wave of nostalgia seen is a warm light—a good memory.

Something to keep your mind off the bad.

"I just had the best night of my life," Jadon sighs dreamily, then takes a monstrosity of a bite of his burger.

"The only thing that happened yesterday was the Lakers lost," Aaron replies, his tone dripping with confusion.

"I know 'twas the best day of my life." He smiles. Jadon's wearing this pretty boy smile that I'm sure has got him out of trouble at least once or twice.

"Did you just use the word ''twas' in a sentence? What are you the second forthcoming of Shakespeare?" Crystal jokes.

I hear Parker jumping into the conversation to say something, and I turn my head to Alexia.

"You doing okay?" I ask her.

She's sitting there quietly, her life has been pretty busy with the whole getting a condom lodged up there, having to take a bunch of pregnancy tests. Having to take the precaution of checking if she's clean or not.

"Oh," Her head snapped out of whatever trance she was in, staring at the food in front of her. "Uh, yeah I'm fine."

"Really?" I raise an eyebrow, at what she means by just 'fine'.

She takes a deep sigh, speaking quietly in a voice that the rest can't hear. "It's just, I don't know anymore. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel a bit lost."

Her head rests on my shoulder and I bring my arm around her body pulling her closer. "I get that." I don't know how to respond to her words. I never want to downplay Alexia's feelings. Hopefully, I never will.

"It's just that I feel like everything's changing. People are changing, and I feel selfish because I want it to stay the same." She doesn't specify who, but I wonder who's changing so much.

"Is this about me by any chance?" I don't want to come off like a self-obsessed bitch, but here I am.

She averts her eyes, "A little bit, yeah. You've changed, not in a bad way. But sometimes I look at you and I think about the person you were last year and how I wouldn't even recognize you now." She admits, "I feel like I'm the only one who's staying the same. I'm the same person as I was last year."

"You don't need to turn into a different person, you're already the most amazing person I know."

She shakes her head, "You really think that?"

"Of course." I don't even take a moment to think about it.

She whispers the next part to me, "Not even Aaron is better than me?"

"What?" I blurt, caught off guard.

I almost fucking dropped the hot dog in my hand from her words. It was loaded with ketchup, chicken, cheddar cheese, and lettuce. I know the ketchup with the other stuff may sound off-putting but it was hella good.