If only...

24.She's gone

SAM POV÷

After that visit to her house and that kiss, I found that trying to resist mon was a waste of time.
I wanted her ... No, I needed to be close to that girl.
I used to have sex with other girls, but every time I was with one of them, I found myself comparing those girls with Mon.
Obviously, I still wanted mon at that time, and I was not going to get rid of that desire by trying to avoid her, so I decided at that time to allow my desires to lead me, and that was the stupidest thing I ever did in my life.

I found myself kissing her wherever I saw her and no one around, she obviously wanted the same thing as me so I thought maybe she wanted what I wanted and there's nothing wrong with having some fun together.

It didn't stop with kisses, we were having sex, it went on like this for weeks and we had sex at least twice every week and of course we always met at my house, our relationship was random and just to satisfy our desires, she was a girl without previous sexual experiences and I knew that she was enjoying sex, but I was enjoying making her get her pleasure, certainly nothing of the rules changed, I only touch her but she can't touch me or hug me, because I thought that would make me override my desire for her in a way quickly.
  I know ... you think I'm a psycho, and to be honest with you, I think so too.

Every time she tried to ask about the type of our relationship or the reason for those rules that I used to impose when we were together, I kept silent because I did not have an answer, she would ask about what I did not know the answer to.
Was I seeing other girls than me?
yeah, we were barely having sex twice a week and sometimes once for that mon wasn't enough, also I was hoping to find a new obsession.
I wasn't comfortable with the idea that I couldn't be with a girl or have sex with someone without thinking about her.

We went on like this for weeks, going out together, kissing, having sex and enjoying our time as if there was no tomorrow, but the day came when she called and told me that we had to talk about something important, as I remember, at that time we were preparing for final exams.

that day I was very angry because I had an argument with my mother, who was despising me and seeing everything I do wrong, as usual, my father tried to defend me and he ended in a big mess, there was a big problem between my parents because  of me so that day was already bad and annoying, when Mon called me and asked to meet, i tried to postpone our meeting, but she was adamant So I had no choice then but to go meet her

I went to her house to pick her up and we went to the place she told me about, all the way we were silent, i was angry and thinking  about what  happened earlier, mon was nervous.
a quiet ride, a quiet dinner, you can say it was that calm before the storm.

" so, what What do you want to talk about, tiny?, But first why didn't you eat anything but a few bites?"
I said that after she finished my meal while mon barely touched her food.

"I don't have an appetite also I asked you to meet to talk about something important."
mon said nervously.

"okay!, then let's talk"

"i think, The time has come to know what kind of relationship we have"
mon said that tensely and directly while looking at me questioningly waiting for my reaction, I was surprised even though I expected it to happen but not so fast, I mean at that time I still wanted that pleasure that I feel with her.

"is this the necessary thing that you want to talk about?!"
I said that after Moments of silence, i was trying to hide my surprise and anger

" yes, this is the necessary thing, I do not know about you, but for me ... it is necessary."
she said that with excitement and tension,