If only...

34. just sex

SAM POV ÷

A warm bed, dry clothes, and the sound of heavy rain. I opened my eyes to find myself in the room I used in Mon’s house. I felt tired and cold and could barely open my eyes, but I was thirsty to see her or hear her voice. I felt weak and needed her by my side.  The light was dim, but when I turned my head, I saw her ...standing in front of the window with her hands in her pocket, quietly watching the rain. I don’t know how to describe it, but I felt relieved and safe to see her in the room with me and for me. In the end, she did not leave me alone even though I was causing her a headache.  At a time when she is dealing with the loss of her father.

"I'm sorry "
that's the only thing that came from my mother and i couldn't stop myself from crying.

The doctor said You should rest, do not leave the bed.”
she said that coldly, then she came towards me and touched my forehead and i was feeling nothing but the need to hold her tight and sleep in her arms.

when she made sure that i was fine, she wanted to leave, but i held her hand weakly, i needed her with me and i want nothing but warm huge for minute.

She looked at me with a raised eyebrow, surprised at what I was doing, but her look was not as cold as usual. Inside, I was happy, even if the meaning of that look was pity
"Please do not leave, please "
i said that while i was crying she
gently pulled her hand from me hand but i couldn't accept seeing her leaving because i was scared she will leav the house so got got out of bed weakly and almost fell but she had catch me and when i was waiting to find myself on the ground i found myself in her arms so hugged her tightly and you don't understand but i was ready to die there in that room after  that hug.
She hugged me for a few moments, then picked me up and put me back on the bed without saying a word. For the first time after all these years, she was warm to me....and you have no idea how much i was happy and emotional.

"Please, please, do not leave. I am sorry for everything. I swear I will do anything to fix what is between us, I love you and I am ready to die for you"
i said with difficulty between her sobs.

"There is nothing between us to be fixed, don't leave bed again, you need to rest."
Mon said that as she covered me tightly to keep me warm while I was crying and begging for her touch.

" You must eat so can you take your medicine, i will prepare breakfast and Your temperature has dropped.  You will regain your full health tomorrow if you stick to bed today."
Mon said that and then left the room while avoiding looking into my eyes to see my tears. It seemed that she was pitying me and I was fine with that if she allowed herself to be warmer with me. She took care of me and fed me sometimes when I was unable and I will not deny that I was  I enjoyed it even though it was clear that she was annoyed.

Two days passed and I started to get better thanks to Mon who was taking care of me.
Even though she wasn't talking to me much or showing a warm side to me, I could feel that somewhere in her heart there was...  There was something for me, even if it is small spot and I will not lie to you the idea encouraged me to try to get another opportunity to show her how much I love her.

But all my focus and thought was on the results of the tests. I was really afraid and worried, even though Mon seemed didn't even remember that and that's what made me want to stay around her.
She didn't care about her health and wasn't thinking about how serious the matter was .
On that day, I called Dr. William to ask him about the results of the tests, and he told me that he would inform me as soon as they appeared, and I remember well that I was not able to eat dinner well, even though I was like an obedient girl. I ate everything, even if I had no appetite, so mon would be satisfied with me but the Announcement day of the results. I was very terrified, and it was clear.