If only...

39. grateful

SAM POV ÷

3 years have passed since that fateful, terrifying day.

Every time I remember what happened, I feel pain in my bones and heart with horrible headache.

I would not exaggerate if i said that it was the worst day of my life.

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I remember very well....at one moment I decided to reload the gun and put bullets in my head the moment it would Mon breath stop... and yeah, this was the final decision at that moment... the moment Mon's heart stops beating, I will leave everything behind and follow her wherever she is... I know I sound crazy to you while you're reading my nonsense but you can't blame me... I loved her and saying goodbye to her after I found her was not an option.

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But God is kinder than I thought...In the end, 20 minutes after Mon lost consciousness, the ambulance and the police came. I don’t remember exactly what happened in detail, but the paramedics took Mon from my arms and began checking her pulse and making sure she was still breathing.

I could see that they were worried that they can't be able to do anything to make Mon survive until she reaches the hospital when they saw how she's already bled a lot of blood.

  Without hesitation, they put her in the ambulance, put an oxygen mask on her fase and called the hospital and told them that a medical team must wait for them because the victim condition was critical and she had already lost a lot of blood. 

I was next to her in the ambulance, holding her hand without being able to cry or say anything because everything was chaos for me... it was too much....
When they talked about Mon need for blood I called Dr. William and told him to try to prepare blood in case Mon needed blood because I heard the paramedics telling the hospital that she would undergo an operation and  she would need a lot of blood, so I did not hesitate to call Dr. William without telling him details.
On our way to the hospital, they were trying to stop the bleeding, but the bullet was already deep because she was shot from a short distance....the 35 minutes that I spent in the ambulance holding Mon hand, not knowing what would happen next was like a nightmare that I did not want to think or talk about it at all.

When we arrived at the hospital, they took her to an examination room and prepared her for the operation. There were many doctors around her with looks of despair and pity.... I was watching, unable to cry or say anything... I was not ready to accept hearing something bad.

I was waiting outside the examination room, waiting for something to tell me there was hope, but.... deep inside I knew something bad was coming, I could feel it.

  One of the doctors came out of the examination room and asked if she had relatives, and it was like a knife in my heart. There was no one there for her but me.

"No, I am the only person available here and I can help you with whatever you want, but please save her."
I said that while looking seriously at the doctor, who was looking at me with a frown, not understanding what was happening.

"Excuse me, but what is your relation to the patient?
One of her relatives must come and sign papers before we take her into the operation."
The doctor said that seriously.

"She has no one. I am the only one here for her, she has no family, her parents are both dead and she has no siblings or relatives so please don’t waste any more time and give me the papers to sign whatever you wants. Please... just save her."
I said that in one breath while trying to control my tears. 

"But who are you for her?.. if you ....."

"I swear to god, if you don't stop asking stupid questions now, I will make them expel you from here with one call and If anything happens to her, I will hunt you and believe me i have nothing to lose so let me sign what you want and start doing something before I lose my humanity with you."
I said that angrily cutting whatever he was trying to say while clenching my teeth which made the doctor step back and give me the papers to sign, especially since Dr.William arrived at that moment.