If only...

36. goodbye

SAM POV ÷

After a night that was like an unattainable dream, I woke up the next morning, but as expected, I was alone and Mon was not around.

clean clothes, a warm bed but she wasn't there ...it seemed that she had carried me into the room after I slept.  I was hesitant to leave the bed because I didn't want to face what was waiting for me.  I looked at the clock on the nightstand next to the bed and it was 9:07 am.
Escaping was not a solution. I needed one last attempt because what had happened the night before. I was ready to fight the world in order to live it a second or third time.... I got out of bed still feeling tired and sore in my sensitive area. It had been an unexpected night. Mon was shockingly goodto be honest ....I went to the bathroom and all I could think about was Mon's lips, her warm embrace, and her long, charming fingers.  I put on my clothes after I finished my shower and went downstairs, praying for a miracle to change my fate.

" um... Good morning."
I said that as I headed to the table that was prepared with a delicious breakfast.

"Good morning."
Mon said that coldly as usual and placed a cup of coffee in front of me and sat on the opposite side To the window who was in the kitchen with a cup of hot coffee and then she started putting food on her plate. The silence was strange and tense and I decided to drink my coffee and eat without saying a word until she finished her breakfast, but suddenly Mon broke the silence and asked:
"How was your sleep?"

"perfect "
i said that and focused on my food
because it was impossible for me to tell her that I was still feeling pain after she dug my pussy with her long fingers to show me heaven a thousand times last night and I'm ready to ride them again and again and ... i just wanted her, you doesn't understand.

How can I change your mind so you can give me another chance?
How can I prove to you that I love you and am ready to do anything to win your heart Mon... i love you,  i swear to God I love you "
after I noticed that she finished her breakfast, I decided to say what was weighing heavily on my chest, and all she did was look at me with a raised eyebrow.

" then leave and stop trying to force me to live with you under the same roof....Stop hurting yourself because of your stubbornness. If you really care about me, leave me free.... Thank you for trying to help, but you are actually making things worse. I want to stay alone and you must respect that sam, that's what I'm asking for"
Mon said that and then drank from her cup of coffee while looking out the window at the tree that was in the small back garden. 

"What if I bought the house next to yours, I won't bother you i prom....."
I said that optimistically, trying to convince her, but she interrupted me and said what made me realize that I was really hurting her.

"Do you know why I left a few days ago for a whole day?
because I needed to grieve for my father, so I went To the cemetery and I sat next to his grave to give myself a chance to cry, think and clear my mind because in this house I cannot do that because you are here"
Mon closed her eyes and sighed and then added,
“What happened last night was just sex and we were both drunk, so don’t think that what happened between us is possible to be more than a friendship in the best of circumstances.... I forgive you, yes, but I am still disgusted by my memories of what happened one day between us."
  She finished her words while looking directly at me, then she sighed, combed her hair back with her fingers, and began drinking her coffee again.  My bleeding and confused heart was telling me to stay but my mind was telling me that I had to let her move on and give her the space she wanted because apparently I was suffocating her.... i love her so i need to do whatever make her happy.

"Do you promise me that you will be okay?"
I said that in a weak voice, trying to prevent my tears from falling. 

"Yes, I promise"