Scarlett Winchester

Chapter 58: I Hate Who I Am Today So Just Take What You Want

GUYS I HAVE NOT SEEN SUPERNATURAL IN ALMOST TWO WHOLE FREAKING MONTHS! I REPEAT TWO WHOLE MONTHS! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! MY PARENTS HATE ME APPARENTLY! THEY THINK SUPERNATURAL IS TOO VIOLENT FOR ME! THEY ARE INSANE AND WHEN I WAS LOOKING FOR PICS AND GIF OF DEAN I LAUGHED AND MELTED AT EVERYONE! I JUST MISS IT SO MUCH WHAT DO I DO WITH MY LIFE! THEY SERIOUSLY PROBABLY AREN'T GOING TO LET ME WATCH IT FOR  REALLY LONG TIME! I'M SO MAD AND SAD AND I WANT TO WATCH IT AND I MISS DEAN'S SEXY FACE AND SAM'S BEAUTIFUL HAIR AND CASTIEL'S AWKWARDNESS! I MISS DEAN'S STRONGNESS AND KINDESS AND CONFIDENCE AND HIS HERO SELF AND SAM'S SMARTNESS AND STRONGNESS AND KINDNESS AND CASTIEL'S ADORABLE FREAKING AKWARDNESS! AND I MISS IT ALL! I MISS CROWLEY AND ROWENA AND... HECK! I EVEN MISS METATRON! METATRON! IT'S OBVIOUSLY BEEN TOO LONG IF I'M MISSING THAT DOUCHE BAG! I MISS MY TV FAMILY! UUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *CRIES* *SOBS* *SOBS SO UNCONTROLLABLY LOOSES ABILITY TO BREATHE* *dies* (the lyric this chapter is named after is more for my own life than Scarlett's at the moment, I also took out a few words because the actual lyric(s... it's two) Is Cause I hate who I am today. So come on come on just take take take what you want, which is long)

"That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard." I laughed as I walked with my group into the school. "Whatever! You know you want one!" Ryder insisted nudging me with his elbow.  "Okay, why would anyone want that?" Amy asked. "Because it's awesome!" He exclaimed. "How so?" Kalie asked. "Okay, so have you ever been camping and in a sleeping back but you need to grab something so you just hop around in it?"  "No." Amy, Kalie, and I all said at once. "Is it because you're all girls and you've never been camping?"  "Ryder! Just because we're girls doesn't mean we can't go camping!" I exclaimed.

"So you've been camping?" He asked raising his eyebrows. "No." We all answered again. We all laughed. "Well, I like my walking sleeping bag so suck it." He said. "Ewe no." I said. He rolled his eyes and playfully pushed my shoulder. We all laughed and the first bell rang so we waved and headed to our lockers and classes.

~

 I was sitting in my 6th period doing the homework the teacher had just given when her phone rang. Other students looked up at her, anxious to see if they got to leave early, but I just rolled my eyes. "Hello?" She answered. "Yes. Okay, I'll send her down. Bye." She put the phone on it's hook and now all the other girls were staring with even more hopeful looks while the guys looked disappointed. "Scarlett, the councilor needs to speak with you," She said. Everyone sighed disappointed and I looked at her confused. I shrugged and put away my things seeing as the bell was about to ring and I wouldn't make it back and I walked down to the councilors office. What did Dean do now?  I wondered pulling open the large glass door that lead into the big counseling center. 

"My councilor said she needed me," I said to the lady sitting at the desk. "Whats your last name?" She asked, bored. "Winchester," I answered. "You're councilor is Coleman," She pointed at a door that had a sign next to it that read "COLEMAN: W-Z" I gave a curt nod with a smile and walked over. I knocked, unsure if I needed to, and heard someone call for me to enter. 

I closed the door behind me and looked around. The small room had a homey feeling to it. Pictures of my councilor and her family sat on her desk and she had encouraging quotes in frames on the walls. She gestured for me to sit down, giving me a kind smile that actually reached her eyes and I did. "Hello Scarlett, I'm Mrs. Coleman." She greeted. "Uh, hey," I smiled. "So, why haven't you come to see me yet?" She asked. I squinted my eyebrows in confusion. "Sorry?" I asked. "Well, you're a junior, you've been home schooled for quite a long time, you lived in an orphanage for a few years. College may be something you don't know much about and most juniors have already come to talk to me about their plans and things." She explained. "Oh, well, I haven't really thought about it. I don't actually plan on going to college." I said. She frowned. "Scarlett, I've seen your grades, I've even spoken with some of your teachers. You're a very smart young lady, your GPA is 4.0. As of just this year you have tons of extra credit, and you've been doing volunteer work since you were in the orphanage. You could get into probably any college you want to, Ivy League even." She said. I shrugged. I guess now that hunting isn't in my life I could consider it. I guess it's just hard to believe something that has consumed so many years of my life is just over. "I guess I could apply to a few..." I said. She smiled, looking pleased and relieved. 

 She then told me about PSATs and starting to apply for scholarships and touring campuses and deciding what I wanted to major in and what colleges I wanted to go too. At the end of our long conversation she let me chill in her office and research colleges till they let out and school was over. The bell rang and I smiled at her, grabbed my things and stepped out. I walked to my locker wondering what Dean would think of me going to college. He didn't like it when Sam left but this is a lot different. Will he feel like I'm leaving him? Will he be opposed to the whole idea?

~~~

 I parked my car and slammed the door as I got out. I nervously walked up to the door. I was going to tell Dean about today and see what he thought. This could go any way. "Hey Scar, how was school?" He asked not taking his eyes off the screen. He and Lisa were curled up together on the couch watching Doctor Sexy MD. I rolled my eyes and threw my bag on the floor next to the door. "Good... I need to talk to you." I said slowly, sitting on the arm chair next to the couch. He paused the TV and looked at me with worry. "Is everything all right?" He asked. I quickly nodded "Yeah, yeah, of course, I'm fine. The councilor just called me out of class today to talk about... college... I found a few that I would actually love going to and I'm going to start applying for scholarships and things..." I explained searching his face for his feelings. Lisa's lit up like a Christmas tree.

"You totally should! You're a genus you could go to any college and be a doctor or something!" She exclaimed. I looked back over at Dean and he was smiling. Now, I know Dean, I can tell when he's faking, and this was not even close to one of those times, he was genuinely really happy. "Of course you should go to college! Get a job, find a husband, make a family. That's exactly the life I want for you," He said grinning. Lisa nodded smiling up at him. I smiled relieved. "What colleges are you thinking about?" Lisa asked. "Well, I don't know exactly what I want to do yet so these could easily change depending on what majors they have and stuff, but Stanford was defiantly an option, Uncle Sammy made it sound like it was the best college in the world..." I trailed off looking down at my feet. After a moment of silence I continued. "And NYU, and of course in state colleges like University of Michigan, Western Michigan University, Central Michigan University... You know, so I can stay close." I said. "Don;t take this the wrong way, but I don't think you should stay in Michigan, you could go to the big schools you talked about before no problem and we'll see you on the holidays," Lisa said with a smile. "She's right don't stay here just for us. Do what's best for you." He said. "I just don't know. Going to college and living in a dorm will be hard enough but being hours away from you... I don't think I could do it." I said. No one protested or said I was being silly. It makes since that I'm so attached to Dean after everything we've been through and how many years I grew up without him, I don't want to do that again. Plus, I'm so unstable, he holds me up, like a dad should. One things for sure, college isn't an option until the nightmares settle down and I'm able to take care of myself because even though no one admits it, everyone knows I can't stand on my own to feet, unlike before I met Dean, I'm far from independent and that needs to be fixed.