Music in a bottle (Completed)

40. What if...

         ***Kaye's POV***
          "Present time"
        
      A month after that, I'm finally sitting here on the plane back to meet her. If I could remember her number, I would have called her ages ago. If someone asked you to wait for them but never really called, what does that mean? What does that make me?

          When we landed safely and the announcement is being said, I breathe in and out a couple of times trying to calm myself. Whoever said, breathing in and out calms you, definitely never had love problems like mine. 

          I was trying to walk slowly because I want to be in the moment or I'm trying to be. But when you're walking one step at a time, and the person you're with, is wearing a 6-inch high platform stiletto heels, but walks faster than me. I don't have it in me to complain knowing she could stab me with her heels.

"You know, for someone who came back for the girl she loves, you don't look too great."

             I'm so glad she's driving. She talks more when she's the passenger.

" Please stop the car. I think I'm going to throw up."

         She stopped on the side of the road and I went out fast and vomited almost everything I had for lunch and breakfast or the day before if there was any left. Not that I ate much anyway. Since I got on the plane. My anxiety struck and lost my appetite to swallow anything.

          It's half past two now. I have never been this nervous my whole life. It's like being in a life and death situation. And I'm currently dying with anxiety of all the "what if's " popping up in my brain one after another.

        What if she's gone? What if she stopped waiting? What if she fell for someone else named Jamie or someone much similar to me? What if I'm too late? All these what if's are currently making me insane. I'm just human after all. I don't like having these "what if" moments, but after months of no communication that even I would have given up, it's becoming a habit of mine to think of all the possible "what if" I could think of.

"She could be seeing someone else." And then, my Aunt spoke

          I put my hands on my knees and looked at her with my angry expression. Such a supportive family.

" I know. "

      I said through gritted teeth. I do know but hearing that from someone else makes that "what if" part, true. The more you say it, the more it gets real. So, I prefer to keep it to myself eventhough my mind is becoming obnoxiously loud.

          She patted my back a little too hard that I almost fell with my face first on the ground.

" I was just kidding. She's a keeper. It's just months...almost a year. People don't move on that fast. Because if they do, the feelings she had with you before were never real." She kept talking

"That's reassuring." I stood up

"Stop wasting time then. Move your butt, so we can go home first or else, your grandad will not let you in for being late." She said and clapped her hands to make me move faster

"I'm not late. The plane was. "

        I said and walked back to the car. I opened the window and rested my head on the car seat. My aunt was driving slowly. I closed my eyes, enjoying the wind on my face, and trying to remember what's left of my memory of her.

          I remember how she loves to play with her hair, brushing them with her fingers and me secretly hoping it was me doing it instead of her. I love how her lips move when she speaks, even that feeling when her lips brushed mine. I still have that electric reaction in my body whenever I think of her.

          I remember how her lips start to curve when she smiles. I love it even more when I'm the reason behind it. If I missed anything because I was too scared to try, maybe it's for her to know my real name. I wish I could hear her say my name at least once. To hear someone say all the words in the dictionary but never your name, that's probably one of the saddest dilemma anyone will ever face.

         Timing is important. Atleast, in my belief. But sometimes, waiting for that perfect timing ruins the right moment. There's no perfect timing. Any moment is just as good as any moment that we have. We just have to work hard for it. The perfect timing comes the moment we decide to let go of the fear and take a chance. Maybe I ruined that chance the moment I left.

         When we arrived home, my grandad was sitting at his usual chair, looking at the same crimson sky, remembering the same love story about the woman he loved more than the world in front of him. Everything is almost the same for him, even the pain of losing my grandmother never mended what was broken in his heart.

          When I was walking closer, he looked up and smiled. Just like the usual smile he gives me whenever he sees me. But the truth is, we can smile the same way to everyone no matter how different we have become. But the smile on your face when you see the woman you'll ever love will be just one.

"Hi grandad." I greeted

        I sat on the footstep of the stairs, while he sits on his usual rocking chair. I rested my head on my knees as I looked at the sky. I felt my grandfather's hand on my shoulder and he patted it slowly.

"No right love is ever too late. " he said. Not that I asked

"What if I am this time? Now that I'm here, I'm even more confuse if me being here is right for me and wrong for her or it could be wrong for me and right for her. I still don't get it. There's this big wall between us. I'm trying to jump over. But the truth is, there's this question between choosing my mind or my heart and I can't decide which is worth taking."

           I heard him laugh as I explained and he picked up something on his side. He took something out of the box and handed me a bottle. The bottle.  I held it with my hands as the tears started to fall.

"You don't get them maybe because you're dealing with them separately. Maybe the answer is not on either of them. Have you ever thought about choosing both? You can't have the best of both worlds but nobody ever said you shouldn't try." He said and patted me on the shoulder again

      I stood up and hugged my grandfather tight. Sometimes we know what to do but we just can't see it.

"Jade?!"

         My aunt was calling from inside the house. I ran towards her and hugged her suddenly that the glasses she was holding almost fell.

"I have to go." I said in a hurry

"Now? Can't we at least eat first?" She suggested

"Like grandad said, no right love is ever too late. But being a little early wouldn't hurt either." I repeated

" I don't remember him saying the last part." She said

         I kissed her on the cheek again and was about to run and follow my destiny when she suddenly pinch me by the ear.

"What's up with the bottle on your hand?" She asked

"Oh." I stared at the bottle I'm holding

         I met her because of this bottle. Even if it takes a decade, I know she will remember this bottle. At least, that's one thing I'm certain about.

"I have to return this to someone."

           I walked out holding that bottle in my hands but barely holding the thought of coming back with her. People always come and go. And I did. I was the proof of that. For someone who strongly believes that, I have to convince her otherwise. I did come and go. This time, I came again and will leave again as well. But it's not how I came back that matters now. It's how I'll leave again.....