Furry Humans | ✓

44.

↠C h a p t e r   F o r t y- F o u r↞
TO BECOME STRONGER

❝Leave who you were. Love who you are. Look forward to who you will become.❞

♦ ° ♦ ° ♦

London cries out to be fed, and luckily those cries overpower the noise in my head and the battle I'm losing within myself, my head fogs with a darkness that pushes me closer to the cliff that drops down to the abyss of despair. I have to be strong. For London, Xavier, Dad. . . Mom and myself.

Nobody asked me what I've been through, didn't ask what happened from the time I was taken to the time I was recused and thankful I'm glad they didn't. Bounding down the steps with London in my arms, I head towards the kitchen where the months worth of breast milk was stored, taking out a bag, I began to move around the kitchen one-handed while fixing his milk.

After hearing the tragedy about Mom and the child she gave birth wouldn't be able to survive the first month, anonymous mothers began to send frozen bags of breast milk to our doorstep saving us the horror of a starving baby. 

I feel him before I see him, the air between is us is charged as he walks closer, coming up behind me and rubs his hands down my arms, raising goosebumps and tingles where his hands lay. His breath brushes over the shell of my ear as he looks over my shoulder, the action momentarily breaking me away from my thoughts that strayed me away from reality.

"Any word, yet?" I question in a low voice, keeping my eyes on London who was sluggishly sucking on the nipple of his bottle.

Xavier's fingers dig lightly into my flesh and I knew the answer. Not short after he brought us back home, Dad shifted into his wolf out of grief and high tailed it out of here, his mentality not able to take the loss of his soulmate, we've tried tracking him down: looked everywhere for him but he was beyond our reach, reverting back to his instincts as a lone wolf. We've asked neighboring packs if they see a lone wolf crossing between their territories to notify us.

I sigh, taking the bottle from London's mouth and setting it down on the counter, caressing his cheek. Xavier rubs his hands up and down my arms, trying his best to comfort me despite the conflicted feelings that crash into me, he feels everything I'm feeling, and vice versa; he can feel my loss, grief, hatred, anger, sadness, and content while I can feel his worry for my wellbeing, determination to keep me safe and by his side, and something else that he kept from me.

I peered over my shoulder at him, looking into his eyes that stared intently back into mine, his eyes flicker down to my lips, giving me a quick one peck before he moves back enough for me to turn around and face him.

His hands find my face, cupping my cheeks and pulling me close until his pressed his forehead against mine, staring deeply into my eyes. "Everything's going to be okay," he says, causing tears to swell at the edges of my eyes. "We'll find him."

An unknown tear trails down the side of my cheek and I quickly wipe it away, nodding and averting my eyes. Another tear runs free and I'm not the one to wipe it away, Xavier's rough finger slides across the skin of my cheek, wiping away the falling tears.

"I'm okay," I speak hoarsely, sniffling.

He nods, stepping back and holds his hands out for London, "I can take him upstairs for you." 

Sniffling once more, I carefully pass over my brother to him, careful not to wake him as Xavier immediately takes him upstairs. I'm once again left with my own thoughts. It was cold, and I don't mean because of the weather outside; it seemed much colder than that.