Fearless (Bellamy Blake - Book 1)

Chapter 19.

Swallowing the nauseating feeling that starts to build in my stomach I stand above Jasper's sweating, beaten body. He groans and grunts, unaware of his surroundings.

"It's about time you came to check up him." Clarke says from her crouched position before him, cleaning his main wound where he was speared. "I thought Jasper's your friend."

"He is." I tell her, looking away from him and diverting my gaze to the metal floor. "I'm just not good at you know...blood and bodies and..."

"People dying?" Finn inputs. "Ironic."

I send a glare his way before looking down at Clarke.

"The Grounders cauterised the wound. It saved his life."

"Saved his life so they could string him up for live bait." Finn says as he walks over and folds his arms across his chest. "Garden of Eden this ain't."

"This is infected." Clarke dabs a wet cloth at the wound, "He could be sceptic."

"And what does that mean exactly? We weren't all raised by doctors." I furrow my eyebrows, the word 'septic' doesn't sound too good to me.

"It means if we don't get him better he could go into organ failure." Clarke sums up before turning to Monty, who sits at the back of the room with the broken communications system, trying his best to fix it.

"Any progress on using the wristbands to contact the Ark? Monty?"

Monty continues to stare at his best friend but glances up at Clarke. "That would be a firm no."

"My mother would know what to do." She sighs in frustration.

"How's he doing?" Wells asks as he climbs up the ladder, crouching down next to Clarke.

"How does it look like he's doing, Wells?!" Clarke snaps at him, gesturing to Jasper's state. I raise an eyebrow in surprise at her outburst.

"I'm just trying to help." He says, looking at her.

"All right, you wanna help?" She asks. "Hold him down."

Both Wells and Finn put their weight on Jasper's legs, and Clarke grabs a piece of metal fashioned into a knife, holding it into a small nearby fire, sterilising it.

"I'm not gonna like this, am I?" Monty asks and as I watch her, I know I'm not gonna like it either, already knowing this will take me feel even more uneasy.

"No, but you need to trust me."

Clarke lifts the knife away from the fire and takes a deep breath before holding it against Jasper's skin, causing him to scream in pain and his body to jolt. Monty and I surge forward and help to hold Jasper down, my face grimacing as I try not to watch the scene unfold.

"Hold him still! I need to cut away the infected flesh."

Jasper shakes and a tear escapes from his eye, his head lolling to the side, Clarke places two fingers on the side of his neck to check his pulse, just as Octavia rushes up into the room.

"Stop it! You're killing him!" I stand and let her take my place beside Clarke and by Jasper's head.

"She's trying to save his life." Finn explains.

"She can't."

I turn and watch Bellamy step away form the ladder and onto the level, his ever positive attitude radiating off of him.

Wells stands and faces Bellamy in a threatening manner, "Back off."

"We didn't drag him through miles of woods just to let him die." Clarke says.

"Kid's a goner. If you can't see that then you're deluded. He's making people crazy."

"That is true," I input, "but--"

"Sorry if Jasper is an inconvenience to you." Clarke snaps, facing the wall away from us. "But this isn't the Ark. Down here, every life matters."

"Take a look at him," Bellamy says quietly, "he's a lost cause."

I purse my lips and look down at Jasper's limp body.

Clarke was right, every life down here matters, and we succeeded in finding Jasper and bringing him back, but he's been in pain like this for days and is only getting worse. What if trying to keep him alive like this only puts him in more pain?

"Octavia," I look over at Clarke as she speaks to the girl beside her, "I've spent my whole life watching my mother heal people. If i say there's hope, there's hope."

"This isn't about hope, is about guts. You don't have the guts to make the hard choices, I do. He's been like this for three days, if he's not better by tomorrow, I'll kill him myself."

I sigh at Bellamy's words and nod, agreeing with him.

"He's right."

"Carter--"

"I'm sorry, Monty." I look over at the sweet boy who looks up at me with a pained expression. "But we have to think about the pain we're putting Jasper through as well. If we can't help heal him the least we can do is help end the pain."

"Octavia. Let's go." Bellamy makes a move for the ladder, pausing.

"I'm staying here." Octavia says, looking at Clarke who sent her a small smile.

Bellamy looks over at me and I nod, and he climbs down the ladder with me following after him, leaving the others up there to talk about how irrational and 'jackass' we are.

"You know, I'm surprised you agreed with me on that." Bellamy says once we reach the bottom level.

"Don't be so smug about it, Blake." I say bitterly as I walk past him. "I just condemned my friend to his death."