Fearless (Bellamy Blake - Book 1)

Chapter 39

Bellamy and I jog through the woods silently side by side until the sun slowly starts to rise.

I'm not stupid, I figured it out whilst I was mentally listing what the pod could hold; food, medical supplies, weapons (highly unlikely but you never know), a radio.

All of the Ark's drop ships are equipped with telecommunication systems, meaning that pod has a radio inside that they want us to use.

If we get rid of that radio, no one will be able to contact the Ark, which means they won't ever know if it's survivable on Earth, and they're best option is to stay in Space.

Another huge giveaway was the fact Bellamy gave the order no one was to leave until sunrise, but Octavia was right, Grounders could've easily gotten to the supplies by then, and he knew it, meaning he was planning on going alone.

Well not anymore.

"Bellamy!" We both stop and turn as Octavia runs up to us, not looking too pleased to see us. "What are you doing?"

"Go back to camp, it isn't safe." Bellamy tells her, but she doesn't listen as she stops before us.

"You lied to everyone. You lied to me. You just want whatever's in that pod--"

I shift awkwardly and watch as Bellamy pushes Octavia back. This is between them, it isn't my place to get involved.

"Just go home!"

"You always wanna play the big brother, huh?" Octavia hisses as she walks forward again. "Well guess what? Joke's on me, you're just a selfish dick."

"I did this for you." Bellamy says firmly. "To protect you. If the Ark finds out that we're alive, they'll come down. And when they do...I'm dead."

This perks my interest. What did he mean? Did it have something to do with how he got aboard the drop ship? How he got the guard's uniform and the gun?

"Bellamy, what are you talking about?" I frown.

"What did you do?" Octavia asks.

Bellamy swallows thickly and stares at the ground, his tough act melting. "I shot him. I shot Jaha."

"What?" Octavia breathes out in shock.

"I found out they were sending you to Earth. I couldn't let you go alone." Bellamy shakes his head, trying to justify his actions to Octavia. "Someone came to me with a deal, do this, kill him and they'd get me on the dropship. And I did it."

"You killed the Chancellor?" Tears start to brim in Octavia's eyes.

"He floated our mother. He locked you up. He deserved it."

"I didn't ask you to do that." Octavia shakes her head and Bellamy nods.

"You're right. I made the choice, this is on me." Bellamy starts to turn, glancing at me. "Whatever they sent down, I'll take care of it."

"I didn't ask for any of this." Octavia mumbles before running off, leaving Bellamy and I alone.

"You bastard." I spit out once she left, looking up at Bellamy with a hateful anger burning in my eyes.

"Carter--"

"You have known for--I don't even know how long, about my father, and yet last night you had the nerve, to stand there and make me feel like--like--" I shake my head, unable to even form the words to express how I feel at the moment. "Ugh! You made me feel stupid, and weak and it's honestly like you and Finn are on some kind of 'hey let's make Chris feel like shit because we're the only two people she trusts'...vibe! Thing!"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Bellamy takes a step closer to me and tries to touch me but I recoil away, a hurt look forming on his face when I do. "I just--I wanted to, okay--"

"You should've told me a lot of things, Bellamy. You should have told me this. You should have told me when you found out about my father."

"I know." He nods his head. "I know."

"Then why didn't you!?" I yell, tears slowly falling down my face. "It took me so long to be able to trust you, Bellamy. When I came to you last night I was prepared to unburden everything to you, but you threw that all back into my face."

"I wanted to tell you the truth." Bellamy pushes. "I wanted to do it last night but you didn't give me a chance."

"So this is my fault?!"

"No! It's mine." Bellamy steps towards me again. "Please Carter, I just lost my sister, I can't lose you too."

His eyes search mine frantically, looking for what, I'm not sure.

"God, I hate you." I breathe out, and Bellamy sighs in relief at those words, stepping closer to me again and wrapping his arms around me.

"I know you do." He mumbles into my hair as he holds me close to him.

I sigh and close my eyes as I rest my cheek against his chest. Bellamy Blake really will be the death of me.

Everything makes sense now, the reason Bellamy wanted to get the wristbands and stop the Ark from coming down, how he got on board the drop ship in the first place. It all makes sense. I guess now we both know each other's secrets.

I--kind of begrudgingly--pull away from Bellamy. "Come on, we have a pod to find."