Fearless (Bellamy Blake - Book 1)

Chapter 65

we're almost at 6k reads!! thank you all so much, enjoy the next few chapters!  :) x

i legit cried half way through this chapter

-chapters 63, 64 & 65-

"I hope everyone's decent." I announce as I enter the tent. Both Raven and Finn look over at me, the former with a smile and the latter with a relieved look.

After a moment Finn smiles and I take him in.

He's lying in his back and with animal fur keeping him warm. He has a shirt on, so his wound isn't visible to me, but I still know that it's there.

My jaw clenches involuntarily and I look away from Finn, taking a seat on the ground next to him.

"I'll...go grab some water." Raven mumbles and picks up an empty cup, giving us both a smile before exiting the tent, leaving Finn and I in a blanket of suffocating silence.

"How...are you feeling?" I ask, cringing at how awkward I sound.

"I'm doing okay." Finn's eyes never leave me, but I struggle to look at him. "A bit sore, but Clarke and Raven fuss too much."

I chuckle,  "got yourself in a bit of a tricky situation there, huh?"

I quickly wince at my own words and glance up at him removing the smile from my face when he gives me a displeased look.

"Sorry." I whisper.

Finn sighs, "You're right though. I really messed things up...especially with us."

This time when I look up at Finn in shock, my eyes don't leave his.

"Chris I...I'm an idiot. And I'm sorry. For everything. The way I made you feel, the things I said about you and then Charlotte...all of it."

I nod, "so am I."

"You have nothing--"

"I murdered my father Finn." I cut him off, and he looks away from me. A tight knot forms in my chest as my thoughts gather, but the more I speak the more the knot unravels.

"I never told anyone why. Not the guards or Jaha. No one. I never said a thing about it." I swallow past the lump in my throat. "And until recently I've never really said it out loud either, but I guess I've been doing a lot of things out of character."

"It's okay, Chris." Finn tells me, nodding slowly. "It's okay."

I shake my head, looking down at my hands. "It's not. When I was arrested...I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't ever think that by getting rid of him, I'd lose my mother and you and Raven. I thought you'd be on my side, that you'd...you would just support me, or something."

A stray tear rolls down my cheek that I quickly wipe away, but not before Finn sees it. He reaches over and takes my hand in his, squeezing it. A shaky breathe escapes me, the small action enough for me to know that he's with me.

"When we came down to earth, we acted like things hadn't changed between us, and I loved that, Finn."

"Yeah...so did I. But then I acted like a dick."

I let out a short, tearful laugh, "I think we both did. We both said things in the heat of the moment, and then..." I sigh and look over at him, "Finn, you almost died. You would have if Octavia hadn't..."

A sob escapes me, and before I know it I'm being pulled forward, encased in Finn's arms as I cry, letting out all my pent up emotions from the past few weeks.

"It's okay." Finn whispers, "I'm right here, Chris. I'm here."

"I just want us to be okay again." I sob. "The three of us, like we used to be back on the Ark."

"We're not kids anymore, Chris." Finn tells me, "but we can work through this. We will work through this."

"Please don't leave me Finn." I manage to choke out, my words muffled by his shirt. "Don't ever leave me."

"I won't Chris. I promise you, I won't."

I sniff and wipe my nose with my hand as I sit up, looking down at Finn with a small smile. "Promise me something else?"

"Anything."

"You gave me a fricking concussion when you pushed me in that cave, so don't you ever try and save my life again, Finn Collins."

Finn chuckles and puts his hand on the side of my head, "I promise I won't ever save you again, Christine Carter."

When Raven returns to the tent with some water, she stands in shock when she sees Finn and I laughing together.

"What'd I miss?" She asks as she sits down beside us.

"Chris and I we're just reminiscing." Finn grins.

"Well that sounds dangerous." Raven laughs. "Here." She leans forward and helps Finn to drink some water, wiping away any that spills down his chin.

I smile as I watch them, but it fades slightly when I remember a particular blonde that also has Finn's attention.

"You okay?"

I look up at Raven and nod. "Yeah, just thinking."

"Uh oh," Finn smiles, "don't hurt yourself."

"Ha ha." I roll my eyes at him as I sarcastically laugh. "Comedy genius over here."

Raven chuckles before it fades and she looks between us all. "So...are we all good?"

My smile fades and I look down at the ground before looking up at them both. "I am sorry you know. Bellamy and I didn't know that people would be culled if we destroyed the radio. And I didn't know it was you in the pod."

Raven nods at me, "I know, Chris."

"Yeah." Finn nods, "I think we're good. Until the next argument at least."

"Good." Raven smiles and I squeal in surprise when she tackles me into a hug. "Because I missed my best friend."

I smile and sigh in relief, hugging her back. "I missed you too."