Until My Last Breath

Chapter 61

Shawn's POV:
F*ck. How could I just say that? Oh my god, I'm so stupid. My leg bounces up and down as I fumble with the ring on my finger, trying to ignore the tension between us.

God, why didn't I think? I know that she doesn't feel the same way yet... if I even feel that way. It kinda just slipped out but I could feel her body tense immediately and her breath stopping as those words left my mouth.

I'm completely overwhelming her. God, I was so close to asking her out and I was almost sure that she would say yes but now I ruined it. Sighing I take my phon out, next to my leg on

the window side of the car so Rose couldn't see it, texting Geoff he should call me because of an 'emergency'. I need to tell him. He always knows a solution. I hope he knows what to do this time...
.
Geoff: Emergency? Why? What happened?
Shawn: Please just do it.
.
A few seconds later I see Geoff's name pop up on my screen. "Hey Geoff what's up?" I ask, after accepting the call. "You have to uhmm... come back to the studio. We got an amazing idea and uh... we have to record it till tomorrow morning."

"Is it that important?" "Uh yeah! Just come as soon as you can." "Okey man, I'll be there." I say, before shoving my phone back into my pocket. "Uh Geoff just called me." "Yeah, I'm tired anyways. I won't bother you guys." Rose responds, smiling at me lightly.

I could see that it was a forced smile. I return it, relief washing over me as I see the building. That were the longest 15 minutes of my life.

I get out of the car, jogging to her side to help her out. She mumbles a 'thanks', walking towards the studio with her high heels in her hands.

I follow her, holding the door open as we step in. She immediately rushes up into her room with nothing but a 'goodnight'. Sighing, I walk into the the big room where we mostly are to see Andrew, Geoff, Zubin, Teddy and Mike sitting on the couches while talking.

"There you are! What happened that was so bad that you wanted to get away from your lovely girl." Teddy ask, raising his eyebrow amused.

"Uh-" "Sorry buddy but I had my phone on the table and this du dumbass looked." He says, throwing a pillow onto Mike.

"So what happened? Did you fart in front of her?" Zubin teases, making the other ones laugh. "Or did you actually get along?" Andrew asks, chuckling. "Oh no wait the worst thing that could have happened is-"

"I told her that I love her." I say, cutting Mike off. For a few moments it's completely silent, only the beating of my heart is audible for me. Their wide eyes turn somewhat normal again as they gaze towards anyone but me.

"Oh... wow." Geoff  breaths out, as I sit down on the chair next to them. "Yeah..." I mumble, regretting ever telling them. They have to think I'm crazy. "Well... what did she say?" Geoff questions, making me look up to him.

"Nothing. I said we should go before she could answer." I shrug, rubbing my hands over my face. "I knew there was something going on as soon as I saw them  in the middle of the night." Teddy whispers to Mike who just had a small grin on his face.

"Why?" "Because it was stupid of me to just say it." „Do you mean it?" Andrew asks.
I let out a deep breath, keeping my guys on the floor. „I don't know." I murmur. „So you accidentally said it?" Zubin asks. I just nod.

„Shawn, listen. I think you already know the answer but you don't want to admit it to yourself. If you didn't mean it, you wouldn't have said it unintentionally." Geoff says, patting my shoulder. Maybe he is right...

"What now? Should I leave her alone for a while?" „No! That's the worst thing you can do. Talk to her and if she's ready she will say it back and if she is not you have to understand that too." Teddy says. I nod, running a hand trough my hair before deciding to talk to her now.

Rose's POV:
Sighing, I let myself fall onto my bed, too exhausted yo take off my dress. I can't can't those damn words out of my head. 

"I'm giving the girl I love advise on how to save her friendship with the boy who also loves  her. That's nothing to smile about for me.'

His adorable laugh after that is still burned into my mind just like his shocked face after. I stuff my head into the pillow, letting out a frustrated groan before deciding to change into something comfortable and get rid of the make up so I can finally go to bed and forget all that.

At least for some hours. As I get out of the bathroom I crawl under the covers but I'm way too awake for sleeping. Should I talk to him? He got really important to me but I don't think say it back yet... but what if it hurts him?

He can't expect me to say it. We are not even dating! Just as I was about to call Ava, someone knocks at my door. My heart drops as I can somehow feel who it is. "Rose?" Shawn asks.

Yep... Should I just pretend to sleep? It's no use anyways. Better we get this done now than later. "Yeah come in." I call back, sitting up on the bed. "Hey." He greets with a small smile on his face.

"Hey." I reply, watching as he walk towards the sitting on the edge as faces me. "I didn't even ask. How was your performance?" I question, trying to prevent that awkward silence.

"It was good..." Shawn replies, nodding. Again neither of us says something untold Shawn sighs heavily. "Rose I'm gonna get straight to the point. Look I... I didn't mean to overwhelm you. I don't even know what got into me.

I guess, I just wasn't thinking so... I'm sorry. I know we are not together or anything but I hope that I didn't destroy what we have. Of course I don't expect you to say it back. I know that it was kinda... soon.

Please just know that you are important to me and I didn't want to ruin anything with that-" Smiling, I lean forward cupping his cheeks with my hands.

„You are important to me too." I whisper, gazing into Shawn's surprised eyes once more before I connect our lips. He is taken aback at first but soon relaxes, kissing me back passionately.

After a few moment I pull back, a big smile on his face. "Shawn I...lo-„ „No." Shawn cuts me off by pecking my lips once more. A frown makes its way onto my face. „What?" I ask, confused.

"Don't say it if you don't fully mean it yet. I don't expect you to say it back and I would rather hear it later when you know it than now even though you are not sure." I smile lightly, nodding. „So uhm... is everything alright between us now?" Shawn asks nervously.

„Yes." I reply, chuckling. He was about to lean in again as his phone started to ring. I look at the caller ID to see Ava's name on the lit up screen.

"I'm sorry. I'll be back in a minute okey?" Shawn asks, kissing my forehead, beforehand leaving trough the door.

"Okey." I mumble, skeptically. God why do I find everything suspicious? Ava works for him so it's normal that she calls him for the stuff they need to organize. Right?