Falling for you (A Logan Lerman fanfiction)

38//Unanswered Doorbells and Official Friends

Dedicated to Lotte Henzen... Again...

I missed him.

I really, really did.

I felt that ache in my heart that was saying: He's not here anymore... I felt that word that people throw around in the air and into other peoples ears, when really they didn't know how it felt like. Maybe I didn't feel it one-hundred percent yet, but I felt it. Loneliness. Most of the warm feeling in my heart was gone, only the little sliver of hope begging to stay alive, holding on until he came back and refilled my heart again.

I would see him again. I would, and I knew that. When left for Germany wasn't going to be the last time I saw him. He would come and visit, and he still had to come back for Lindsey's wedding.

Suck it up, Faye... My mind said.

It was drizzling, little streaks of water sliding across the living room window. Oh the weather. It can be such a loyal thing, when it mirrors how you secretly feel inside. I wasn't making it much of a secret, believe me.

School was starting soon. Another week until I started Senior year. I started to feel scared again. The lonely feeling seemed to come back in waves, hitting me and knocking me over every time they washed over my fragile body. I would be starting the first six months of school without Logan. He couldn't hold my hand and tell me that some teachers are irrational and strict, or hug me and tell me everything was going to be alright. He couldn't kiss me and tell me I'd be okay. If only Skype could make teleportation devices.

The door bell had rung that day. I really wasn't in a mood to get it.

"RYAN!" I screamed.

"WHAT?" he answered from upstairs.

"DID YOU SERIOUSLY NOT JUST HEAR THE DOOR BELL RING?"

"STOP BEING A LAZY ASS!" he wailed, his voice slightly cracking changing tones, even though he was now nineteen, and was well past puberty. His levels of maturity caused people to question that, though.

"LANGUAGE," I heard my mom say. I smiled. "RYAN JUST GET THE DOOR!"

"UGH, FINE!" he said. I heard the stairs bend under his weight, as he dragged his body across the house to open the door.

I heard the click of the door knob being opened, and a, "Who the heck are you?" from my brother.

"Uh.. I'm Em, Faye's, I guess, friend."

"Hey Em! Ignore the wall that is my brother Ryan. I'm in here!" I said loud enough for her to hear.

Em showed up in the door way, the word 'SYMPATHY' was metaphorically painted across her face. Little drops of precipitation shined on her, I think, magenta hair, as if it were sprayed by a spray bottle.

"Nice hair," I said smiling. I patted a spot on the couch next to me, motioning for her to sit down.

"Thank you. I never keep my hair the same for more than a month," she said returning the smile. "It's kind of tradition."

"Ahh. So how are you? I guess you walked here?" I said.

"Yea, and I'm okay."

"Heard anything from the girlfriend?"

"Nah, but I have to say that your brother is looking kind of cute," she said, giving me a wink.

"Ugh, gross."