You're Just As Troubled• Billy Hargrove

~Chapter Forty Three~

I sat by the phone for a week now. I was regretting coming and so desperately wanted to hear Billy's voice.

I was hoping he would call, say he's ready, ready to talk or be a parent. The call has to come from him or else I would feel like I forced him to say something to please me.

I decided to head downtown, walk around and hopefully get my mind off of him.

I picked up a few new clothes and was headed to the coffee shop for a drink when I bumped into someone.

"Sorry I wasn't really paying attention" I said as I grabbed the bags I dropped.

"Phoebe?"

"Steve? How are you?" I asked. Last time Steve and I talked was around Christmas when Billy and I came back.

"I'm great and you?" He asked.

"Good" was all I could mustered up to say.

"I was about to grab a coffee you want one?" Steve asked. I shook my head yes and followed him in. We both ordered and then took a spot at an empty table.

"So why are you back? Not that I'm not happy to see you or anything but last we talked you loved California" Steve said.

"Uh, it's kinda a long story" I said.

"I've got time" Steve said.

"Well, Billy and I are I guess like taking a break from each other" I said.

"Did he do something?" Steve asked all concerned

"No, calm down, you sound just like my dad. Billy and I are expecting but the idea of being parents has kind of put a strain on the relationship" I said taking a sip of my tea.

"Oh, well congratulations on the baby. I bet Billy will come around. Don't you worry" Steve said.

"So how's life? How's working for your dad?" I asked quickly changing the subject from me to him.

"Good. After scooping ice cream and handing out movies, I finally showed him I was responsible enough for a job. The kids are disappointed no more free movies though" Steve said.

"Have you talked to Nancy?" I asked.

"Not recently you?"

"Not since Christmas, I hope the NY Times is treating those two well. They deserve everything they've gotten so far" I said. I looked across the street to see the Hawkins Community Pool closed for the season.

"You miss him don't you?" Steve asked. I shook my head yes.

"You know if you would have told me that I would move to Hawkins and fall in love when I started high school I wouldn't have believed you.....Now, I don't know what to believe"

"Phoebe are you guys really that worried about his baby? I tell you're holding back some feelings" Steve said as he placed his hand over mine.

"Steve, what if Billy becomes like his dad because he wasn't ready for this? We are only 20, our lives are just beginning and now we are responsible for taking care of a tiny little human being. I barely take care of myself some days. I just don't want him to have to do something he doesn't want to do. It's not like we planned this and now he's backing out, it's different. If raising baby isn't what he wants or needs right now I'll just have to respect that" I said wiping the tear from eyes.

"If you choose to stay in Hawkins and raise this baby...alone...I'll be more than happy to help" Steve said.

"Steve... this isn't a cry for help, it's just tears of confusion. I appreciate the offer but I would never ask you to do something like that.....I should head out Max and Susan are having me over for dinner" I said standing up from my chair. I gave Steve a quick hug before leaving the coffee shop.

Later that evening I went over to Susan's for dinner. We were gathered around the small table in the kitchen. Susan has cooked some pasta.

"How is he?" I asked. I knew Susan and Billy talked at least twice away since we moved away.

"He doesn't talk much just about the California weather and what his plans are for the day" Susan said giving me an empathetic smile. "So find out the gender yet?"

"Uh, no I uh I'm waiting for Billy to come to the appointment so we can find out together" I said.

"Names yet?" Max asked.

"Yeah, Billy and I talked about it the day I told him I was pregnant. For a girl we choose Madison and for a boy we choose Kyle" I said grabbing some pasta on the fork.

"Is the baby's last name going to be hyphenated?" Susan asked.

"Umm, no it's probably gonna be Hargrove unless something changes my mind" I said. "Speaking of names you both need to consider your names for the baby to call you. Billy and I joked that you and my dad need hip grandparent names"

"I like Mimi" Susan said playing around with it to see how it sounds.

"Mimi it is. I told Joyce she could pick out a name as well since her and my dad have been going strong. I'll let her know you got dibs on Mimi"

We finished up dinner and I headed back home afterwards. Home, was I really beginning to indicate Hawkins as home again. California is home because that's where Billy is at.