The Test of Time

46 ~ November

I'm running out of money.

I haven't found a job, the city is rife with thousands of students who want one. Every week I fill out numerous applications before I finally hear that I was too late.

Elle insists on paying half of my rent, despite the fact that she's now left to fend for herself in our crappy apartment. I'm not completely broke, but if I don't obtain another source of income I'll run out by the end of February which isn't ideal considering I have another two and a half years to get through!

Loving to keep everything organized in my room extends into real life. The thought of potentially running out of money three months down the line panics me more than I'd like to admit. The reality is that I probably have enough time to find a job, but uncertainty worries me, I need a destination in life, for everything.

It's why I've never been spontaneous, never been one to live in the heat of the moment. I take after my Dad in that respect, him passing the obsessive organisation trait down to me in comparison to my chaotic sister.

In fact, the only time I have ever lived 'on the edge' was when I was with Brett - driving over to Stanford, swimming in a cold lake. Hell, even when he wasn't orchestrating the day, I always found myself dropping everything for him, driving to see him in the middle of the night and damning the consequences. He brought that side out of me, and since then it's retreated back inside me, never to be heard from again.

Haydon is just like me. We make our plans weeks in advance, we arrange our days from start to finish. When he rings me to arrange a date we decide where to go and then structure the day around that. It's comfortable. And safe.

Standing outside the movie theater I shuffle on my feet, anxious for Haydon to arrive. As soon as Becky told him to keep the day free he rang me, curious. I couldn't keep the surprise in and told him where we were going. To say he was excited would be an understatement - I almost feel like we could just have this one day together, and all will be forgiven.

He's already a few minutes late and I hate walking into a movie once it's started. I don't even know if I like the Lord of the Rings franchise, and yet here I am, ready to watch it for my boyfriend. Who, incidentally, hasn't turned up yet.

My phone suddenly springs to life and I dig it out of my pocket, grinning as I notice Haydon's name on the screen.

"Haydon!" I exclaim as I answer, wrapping my coat around myself. "Are you nearly here?" I grin, the excitement causing butterflies to float around my stomach. Being apart from him this much is hard, but the excitement I feel when I finally get to see him makes it worth it.

"Sav..."

"I'm right outside so you'll see me straight away." I continue.

"Sav!"

"Yes?"

"I'm so sorry baby." He starts and I immediately feel the smile fall from my face, "My truck won't start."

"Oh." I manage to choke out.

"Dad said I could take his car but he needs it later tonight so I wouldn't be able to stay long away. Rain check?"

"Uh... sure."

"Take Elena with you to the movies okay?" He tries to encourage and I gulp back the lump in my throat and nod, despite the fact he can't see me.

"Okay." I manage out, crossing my spare arm across my chest.

"I'm so sorry!" He exclaims, "I'll make it up to you, okay?"

"Sure." I try, "Speak to you later." I manage to get out before pulling the phone away and hanging up. Biting my lip as I stuff my phone into the pocket I grimace, looking down at the ground and wondering what to do now. There's no way I'll drag Elena to a Lord of the Rings movie when I don't even know if I want to go myself.