carelessly freely perfectly

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beau.

An angel that'd been led astray by the devil. That's what Jordyn looked like as she sauntered into the room, claiming the eyes of everyone around her. No one could look away, as if it was forbidden to do so. Beside me, Serenity tensed up at the sight of her. Hell, so did I.

The thought of having to pretend I wasn't wholly drawn to Jo's presence wasn't something I'd want to entertain, but I had to for her sake. If I wasn't so afraid of breaking her beyond repair, I wouldn't have to confine myself to the boundaries of friendship. Fuck what everyone else may think of me corrupting her, all that mattered to me when it came to Jo was her well-being. And I knew it would be damned the moment she got tangled in my web of issues.

But that didn't stop me from imagining the things I could do to her. It was fine as long as I wasn't acting upon it after all. The thought of peeling off her tight jeans and using my fingers to pleasure her; she'd let her moans rip free knowing they'd disappear amid the chaos of the atmosphere. I'd bend her over my bed and fuck her until the sun came up, washing away all those cravings we held for one another that were too sinful to be voiced. My fingers would tangle themselves in her blonde strands, pulling them before moving down to her throat and choking her just the way she liked, just enough to drive her wild. Maybe I'd take her in front of a mirror and leave her no choice but to watch the way her body tenses in pure, steaming pleasure.

All of these filthy ideas coursed through my mind while the subject of each and every one of them stared at me with disbelief in her eyes. I was too late to notice it. When I finally came to, she was taking the conflict tormenting her mind with her to the kitchen.

Serenity nudges my side, both in aggressiveness and annoyance. Shit, here we go. "You were staring at her," she glowers.

No shit, everyone was. Serenity's good enough, don't get me wrong, but why that was enough to keep me with her I have yet to find out. She's controlling and needy. On top of that, she's average in comparison to Jo. I'll give Serenity the benefit of the doubt and say it's because at the moment Jo is like a drug being denied to me and I'm practically an addict. Right now, no one could compare to Jo.

I don't love her, no. I just want her. So fucking badly.

But for Serenity's sake, I'll act otherwise. "I'm not with her right now, am I?"

She raises a perfectly sculpted brow, shooting me the infamous 'Really?' look. "I thought we agreed on something."

I roll my eyes pretentiously. "We've talked about this a hundred times, S."

When I turn my head to look elsewhere, she shifts her weight onto the opposite leg to ensure she was still in my line of vision. "Yeah, we have. I have no problem with you not being able to commit to me. It's always been that way since last summer. But I'm not going to be made a fool while you go frolicking back to your ex."

That was her one rule. That I don't take up my issues with strict monogamy with Jo. Serenity was afraid, and rightfully so. After Bea or Bree or whatever the fuck her name was, I had no desire to have sex with anyone else, which in Serenity's eyes was so unlike me. It shocked everyone, including myself, to know that during my "relationship" with Jo, I didn't fuck anybody else. Jo and I had never established any rules when it came to how loyal we'd remain to each other, or otherwise, and I took it upon myself to stop the one-night-stands and meaningless hookups. And for the reason and that reason alone, it threatened Serenity enough to not want me around Jo at all.

"Jesus fucking Christ, I broke up with her for a reason," I groan, completely over this conversation.

"A reason you still have yet to tell me." She bites the inside of her cheek harshly and with impatience.

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