Moonlight Kisses

be a little selfish

With Thanksgiving break just around the corner, the feverish restlessness is circling through the air. It's like a disease that hits even the best of students. Your motivation to do any type of schoolwork plummets. The transition from the windy months of fall to the freezing bite of the winter air makes it even harder to drag yourself out of bed. The teachers are stricter as the students get more impatient. It's the time of year where that promise to do well in school you made during the summer flies away with the fallen leaves until all that's left of your new summer bloom is just a bare tree waiting to blossom again. Call it melodramatic, I call it the drag that is high school.

But, soon enough everything will go back to normal. For the piling of projects and exams and the lack of breaks in between them makes this next week dire to the good of everyone's sanity, including the teachers.

There's a familiar happy air of excitement today, like the first time I stepped through the polished gates of Crestview Academy. Distinguished friend groups sit on their own little claimed area on the green.

Today is different for a number of reasons. The main one being I don't have to go to class thanks to the meeting all the science and math teachers are due to attend. Then there's the alleviating mall trip after school and after that comes our official week off. This definitely qualifies as one of the best days ever. Considering nothing else happens in my life, the bar for "best day ever" is set miserably low.

As we walk through the main area, Sophie nudges me and gestures to Jake waiting for me at my locker. He hasn't done this in a few days, probably because I've left him under the false pretense that I'm dating his best friend, so I didn't think he'd do it ever again.

We really haven't spoken since that day he was flirting with me in the kitchen. Flirting, right? I'm allowed to call it that? Well, whatever it was happened to be the last time we actually had a conversation. Don't get me wrong, we've had plenty of chances of meeting like this and talking like how we used to. When he used to walk me to my first class and meet me after my second to walk with me to psych. And then during lunch, but I could only get him alone for so long. Now I get even less time with him thanks to the deal. We can only ever manage to get a few words in before Beau intervenes.

Though the universe is clearly working on my side today because that spawn of Satan is nowhere in sight.

Jake and I walk around for a considerable amount of time. Of course we laugh and talk, not a beat of silence passes between us. We're just so good at conversing with one another. I'm not usually a talker, but he and Sophie are really the only ones that can really make me feel comfortable enough to have a real conversation. It's easy to carry on shallow conversations that maybe only last at best five to ten minutes, but conversations with Jake it's like they never end, in the best way I could possibly say that.

We spent nearly an hour talking about our hopes and dreams. Jake tells me about his family and how they want him to pursue a medical career, but how he'd much rather prefer being a lawyer to help people who tend to get overlooked get the justice they deserve. He tells me how he doesn't want to get stuck in some loveless marriage and that he's terrified that he won't be able to always be there for his kids when they need it the most. He tells me that he wants to move further away from the city, further away from all the chaos and violence that the shiny beauty of our small gated community tries and yet fails to hide.

I'm pretty predictable as far as life after high school goes. As much as I would love to pursue a career in acting, the prospects of being successful aren't all that reassuring and I happen to love my privacy. So something in line with a therapist would be nice. Helping people solve their problems, be a listening ear to someone who wants to be heard. As far as marriage goes, I have two of the greatest role models in my life: my parents. I'll always strive to have a love like theirs. Children, well, it would be nice but not for a long while. Not until I can support myself and them.