bruises

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tw: sexual harassment, violence

jordyn.

The warm breeze settles down as I make a slow, complete stop. I push the button to put the roof down around the car. My new car.

It's been a topic of conversation between my parents, supposedly, for a while now to start looking into new cars for me. I was only brought into the conversation a week ago, when they were almost sure that I was ready for such a responsibility again. The thing that convinced them was my reassurance that I was okay with driving.

After the accident, it took me a while to regain my confidence behind the wheel. I took it day by day with Beau's help. Starting out on the long empty highways, to residential ones, to the early morning freeway flow of traffic, and ending right at rush hour on the busiest streets. It was one of the hardest journeys I've had to embark on with numerous setbacks all because of the trauma that still plagues my mind from that accident. My love was by my side through all of it, I couldn't feel more grateful about it. With his help, I overcame my fears and anxieties. Faced them as opposed to burying them. Now that I've come so far, I know I can handle that responsibility again. The confidence me and him restored in my mind was enough to sway my parents into getting me a new car.

I'll have to admit, the most exciting part about today wasn't the car. Of course, I'm incredibly grateful to have parents who are able to afford a car this nice and I'm sure as hell going to take immense care of this gift. But I was more ecstatic about going to the dealership with both of my parents. It's rare to get them both to spend time with me alongside their crazy work schedules. The other day though, they finalized the decision to cut back on their hours. Now they're practically working normal nine to five jobs, so I get to see a lot more of them. Their new hours make it easier to coordinate outings like this one.

When I got my very first car back when I was still learning, they bought me a used one because they weren't totally sure about handing over their 16-year-old a brand new car. I can remember that day more clearly than most others. They'd surprised me with it one day I got home from school. They never even had to go to the dealership since they bought it off this used car service that did everything mobily. I was less excited about it then than I am now because now I know how to drive the damn thing. Whereas a little over a year ago I was still nervous to park between two cars.

It wasn't until we moved to California I got my first real car. That time it was just me and my dad. My mom was working at her new job by then and my dad began his job a few days later. He got me that sweet Lexus I had to go and fucking crash less than a year later. I really loved it and even considered getting an exact replica until I started thinking about all the bad mojo I'd be inviting. Getting an exact model of the car I wrecked.

So today, I opted for a sleek Mercedes. It doubled as a convertible and I never really considered having that option until I got on Beau's motorcycle for the first time. Feeling the wind through my hair as I'm driving made the experience ten times more enjoyable. It only really worked though if traffic wasn't backed up as it normally is on busy streets, so the top would only come down for special occasions.

So not only did I get to spend a few hours with my parents, but I ended up walking out with the keys to a car I really, really love. I'm so excited to tell Beau all about it.

We haven't seen each other as much lately. I mean, we see each other everyday at school, but with finals looming over us next week and all the away games he's had recently, we've both been too burnt out for each other. It sucks to say, obviously, that my boyfriend and I are too exhausted and stressed out to see one another, but it's the sad truth. Without responsibilities, we'd be more than welcome to see one another every day after school and hang out to our hearts' content, but along with being a boyfriend and girlfriend to each other, we're students. And student life is fucking grueling during these last few weeks of the semester. Being juniors no less, it just made for one pile of shit dumped upon us and less time to spend on our endeavors.

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