it's you

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jordyn.

My feet are freezing cold against the hard floor. Water drains out of my hair, leaving a wet trail behind me. My entire body is shivering, so much that it physically hurts to tremble any longer.

One desolate hallway. Dozens of flickering lights. My bones rattled with cold and fear. My muscles were so tense with anxiousness that I can no longer remember what relaxation feels like.

All I know is the tireless pain seeping through every corner and crevice of my exhausted body.

An echoed hum punctures the unnerving silence. Before then, the only thing bringing me comfort was the sound of my bare feet slapping against the floor. Now it's the automatic tone that signifies the pa system being activated. Another sign of life.

Its intentions I have no clue of knowing. Could they've come here to inflict yet more pain on me? Or are they offering my one-way ticket out of this abandoned building?

A few eerie-sounding breaths ring through the speakers. There's no escaping them, their steady inhales and shaky releases of breath. I come to realize they're mine. The breathing pattern resonating in these empty halls is mine, only louder. How can that be possible?

How is any of this possible?

"Need anything?" Her voice resounds in me loud and clear. "Food, water? A blanket?" She adds the last remark with a chuckle of unadulterated spite. There's nothing to her besides that, spite and a whole lot of desire to take me down.

"Let me out!" I scream my voice hoarse. My dry petrified yell bounces off the walls, through the desolate hallway, notifying whoever's listening. I'm praying there's somebody else out there. Someone in my subconscious that exists other than her.

She laughs dryly. "God, he did a number on you, didn't he?"

No, I won't allow her to drag him into this. Never again. I couldn't bear it last time she deliberately used him to yank me down lower than I already was. I'm already near rock bottom as it is, which explains why now she decides to come around. Surely the mention of him will be the thing to force me to become familiar again to the excruciation of plummeting to rock bottom.

It's no surprise this is the lowest I've ever been. Why is it so hard for her to solely leave it at that? "Leave me the fuck alone!" I clamp my hands over my ears. Her voice in the real world may be muffled, but her prominent voice is still very much comprehensible in the dark depths of my mind. No matter how desperate of a fight I put up, I can never escape her.

Never escaping her clutches means never escaping the bounds of my past either. I'm at a loss either way.

"Look at you finally getting bold," she taunts with a repulsive click of her tongue. She sounds so much like me, so bitter and callous. It's impossible to recognize that kind of person being me.

And yet she's my exact reflection. Physically anyway. Mentally and emotionally, she's nothing like me. She won't ever be.

My mouth flies open to say something else, but no sound comes out. My lips form the words. My throat feels as though it's straining itself with another blood-curdling yell. But there's no sound, just a few pathetic wheezed breaths.

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