Dirty Little Heart

Why?

"What exactly are you talking about, Angie?"

"I followed you, Nat. Fuck with me and that's what you'll get. After all the trust and everything, we faced together. You were spying on Roger? Why would you do that?"

"Angelica, are you crazy? What the fuck are you talking about? Back me up here."

"Back you up, huh?"

I take my purse and I hold out the bracelet in front of her, which I gave to Roger.

"You remember this piece of shit? I gave this to that fuck Roger when I first met him. I got this from a broke fucking guy who told me that someone was living in his shithole for the past few weeks. And what/ Do you think I don't know about your stupid spy?"

Her eyes got even widened after hearing about that guy. I knew now that she was the major cause. That made it more clear that I was confronting the right person. She tried hiding her true self and changed the topic.

"Are you crazy? What are you even talking about? Wasn't Roger in a psychiatric hospital or something? You told me that yourself."

"He is, but that's not the point right, is it, Nat? How the hell did he know about me living here? There's no way a guy can randomly know every single detail about the woman where she is staying or where she is working. That's impossible, Nat."

"Look, I don't know what you've been doing with those guys but, I don't need this right now, Okay? Why don't you come to talk to me when you'll have some sense of who you're talking to?"

I was so angry. She was denying everything like she did nothing. It was like I was talking to a convict lying about her worst doings. I shook my head, displeased. I don't say or shout or anything, I just started gathering my things.

"What are you doing?" Nat asked.

"Moving the fuck out."

"W... What?"

I ran upstairs to my room, looking for important things and packing them. Natalia followed behind me, hesitating.

"Come on, Angie. What are you doing?"

Natalia was now whimpering like an innocent puppy. All second living with her, I always knew what she was thinking, but for the first time in my life, I couldn't even recognize her. I stayed shut because I didn't want to waste any more of my time on her.

"Angie, please. Just put down the bag. We can talk this through."

"ANGIE!"

"NO, NAT." I turn towards her, growling. I could see the look on her face. The look on her face showed fear.

"You don't understand, do you? You didn't just betray me, and you aren't just accepting the fact that what you did was wrong. You brought my scariest nightmare in my life again, Nat. You brought hell into my fucking life again. And I can never understand why."

"But I didn't, Angie.. I didn't."

"Then how did you know about where he was breaking in and staying? Why did you hire a fucking spy on him? Most of all, even if you had good intentions, why didn't you tell me?"

Natalia started crying, not saying a single word. She went down on the floor and I waited for her to say something, basically giving her a second chance to explain herself. But she said nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"That's what I fucking thought."

I grab my bag and walk towards the door.

"I'll have someone to come for my stuff tomorrow."

"Angelica! Wait! Please!"

She followed me again to the main door when I was already in my car.

"Bye, Nat."

She started hyperventilating. Even though I still cared about her, all that she was doing now was looking fake. I just ignored her and reversed my car.

"Angie, please. Don't le... leave me like... this. Please.. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm so so so sorry."

Without looking back, I just drove away and left her like that. I'm not saying that I was proud of it. Because I had no other choice. Wiping my own tears, I take out my phone and see a text from Jonathan.

"Hey, are you okay? Haven't heard from you for a while."

"I'm fine. Where are you?"

"Oh, just Juliana was visiting me. Having dinner. How'd the talk went with Nat?"

I didn't want to ruin his night with Juliana. I knew if I told him I just left home and literally had nowhere to sleep, he would come right away. So I ignored the question.

"Listen, I'm pretty exhausted right now. I think I'm gonna crash. Talk to you tomorrow?"

"Sure. Sleep good, Angelica."

I throw my phone on the passenger seat, trying to think about where I should spend the night. There was no way that I could afford a hotel because I just gave my fucking money for that fucking bracelet. I couldn't go over to Jonathan's. There wasn't any other place where I could eventually crash this late at night. So, there was only one option left.

I pulled over and dialled a number. After a few seconds, he answered.

"Ms May, isn't it a little late for calls?"

For a moment, I stayed silent. I was bursting with fucking tears. This feeling was terrible, it was just wholly terrible. I never thought I would have to face this type of situation so soon. I covered my eyes, not replying to his voice.

"Angelica, you okay?" Ethan asked.

And I started crying like hell. I screamed so hard that I hurt my throat. Tears were streaming down as if they were a waterfall. I couldn't think straight, look straight, or even set my emotions straight.

"Hey..Sshhh..it's okay. I'm here Angelica. I'm here. Please talk to me."

I gathered some energy and calmed myself.

"E... Ethan..." I still whimpered.

"Where are you? Can you tell me?"

"I... I don't know. I just..I... I was driving around the city, I have nowhere to go..I.."

"Sh, Angelica. Take some deep breaths, and calm yourself. Just do that for a while and I'll come find you, okay? Can you tell me about the surrounding area?"

"I.. There's.. There's a pharmacy here."

"Okay, That's good. Just keep taking deep breaths and I'm on my way. I will not hang up the phone till I find you, okay?"

"Okay.."

I was crying so hard that my eyes hurt. I locked my doors and lay in the backseat of my car, covering myself with a sheet.

Before I knew it, I was already asleep.