Dirty Little Heart

Go through with it.

"UGH!!!! Okay, got so. Even if I do it, wouldn't that mean I'll be cheating on Ethan? I mean, we're fucking halfway there being engaged. How am I supposed to cheat when you're halfway engaged?" I say while giving her a glass of wine at my place. Ethan was still out working, so we thought it was a great opportunity to have a girls' night...home.

"That's the thing. Okay, just imagine. You'll call Jonathan, you'll go over to his place. After a lot of talking, fighting, and maybe flirting. There will be a time when either of you would undress the other one. If you push him away, you're golden. If you don't..well..you're golden, but you're screwed too."

I sigh and lay myself on the bed, covering my face in frustration.

"I hate this. I hate men. I hate love! I fucking hate this life!"

"You're thinking too much, Anna. Don't. You know, you don't have to complicate things like this for yourself. I know this may seem stupid to you but, you don't want to 'cheat' on any of them, go with your heart."

I get up and look straight at her sympathetically.

"That's the main issue, Mai. I...uh.. This fucking heart of mine is saying.."

----

"Okay, I'm gonna say this. You're screwed. You want both of them?! This isn't school where you get to choose 2 boys to sit right next to you together."

"Wow, Thanks, Mai. Did it really happen in your school, though?"

"Only for 1 day in the month."

"But hey, you're the one who has 'feelings' for both of them, not me."

"I really am screwed, aren't I?"

Mai puts down her glass and lay right beside me, taking a deep breath.

"You're not screwed, Anna. You just don't know which is the right path to take. If you ask me, I've been with my share of terrible playboys, and I ended up getting well used by all of them. Most of the time, I thought this was the one, or this is definitely the one. But I guess sometimes you don't even need someone to 'handle your mood or take care of you."

"For a long time, I was doing stuff that I liked alone. I started travelling, meeting new people, making friends and I don't know how many things. I was doing great and honestly? I really didn't need a guy to tackle me then. Well, Until I met Ray."

"Speaking of Ray, how is it going with you guys?"

"It's good, at least for now he's attentive."

"Attentive? That's it?"

"Okay, he's fucking great! He's nothing like I've met anyone before. And well.."

"Big d*ck?"

"Ye..eaahhhh" We both laugh, staring at each other and finally looking up at the ceiling.

"How did we end up like this?" Mai says.

"Well, you tell me."

"I'm too drunk to tell you. God, I might just run away for a while."

I took a moment before answering her again. Something just struck me and I knew it was gonna be a hell of a thing to do, but it was worth a shot.

"Hey, why don't we?" I say.

"Why don't we do what?"

"Run away?"

"Wait for the guys or our lives? Hey, I still wanna earn a living. I can't leave my job."

"I'm not asking you to leave your job, Mai. You said you never needed a man when you spent time with yourself, right? Well, maybe for me, going away for a while can help me realise who I need."

"You know, we'll be partying, drinking and-"

"Oh, no, don't say that!" She looks at me and signs.

"What are we going to say to Ethan? Sorry, Mr Cooper?"

"Don't worry about him. You're in or not?"

"I...Uh..." She started shaking her but then smiles.

"Is that a yes?"

"Ugh, Yes."

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Hey, I'm doing this only because I really need a vacation and you're paying for my ticket."

I laugh at her.

"What? You're rich, and you owe me one." She says, smiling.

"I know I do." I pull her in for a hug and thank her.

"Thank you for being such a good friend, Mai."

"Well, it's the least I can do for being so good to me from the start."

"Eh, I had no other choice," I tease her.

"You bitch," we both laugh, throwing pillows at each other.

"Hey, how are you going to ask Ethan?"

"Just how I always do."

The evening passes, and Mai goes back home. Ethan comes back, and I was watching TV in the hall, of course, wearing only a transparent white shirt.

I look at him.

"You're back."

"Always am, aren't I?" He says while undoing his tie and walking up to me. As Ethan leans in for a kiss, I grab his collars and force him to lie on top of me, kissing me forcibly.

The sounds we make were always too sexy and seductive, just like in the films you usually see while...well...jerking yourself off.

"Mhhm, In the mood, aren't we?" Ethan asks.

"Maybe," I smile and pull him in again for round two.

"Uhh Uhhh, what is it?"

"What is what?"

"The truth behind this intimacy? What do you want, Anna?"

"How do you see right through me?!" He helps me up and sits right beside me.

"Well, that's my secret. If I share it, I might not live to see the next day."

"Shut up." I playfully punch him in his biceps and placed my head on his shoulder.

"It's just Mai, and I were talking and we thought of flying away for a vacation. Just Us girls."

"You mean only Mai and you?"

"Not just us, others, too. Apparently, Mai has a lot of friends. I don't know how she seems so introverted."

"So, what are you saying?" Ethan asks.

"Can we go..for a small vacation? We really need this. Please?"

Ethan stares at me for a while and smiles. He cups my face and looks right into my eyes.

"You don't need my permission to go anywhere you want, Anna. You're not caged here. Of course, you can go."

"I love you!" I say and capture him with a long, sensually erotic kiss. My hands were moving around his hair, making him go crazy.

"But.." He breaks the kiss and says..

"Keep me filled in where you are and...your location."

"You got it!"

"Please be careful out there?" Ethan says, concerned.

"I will, baby, Don't worry. Now, before I go, don't you want to remind me who I belong to?"

"Oh, you need the reminder now, do you?" He says while grabbing my neck and moving his tongue along my collarbone.

"Yes, Sir,"

"Good girl,"

Ethans pick me up and lead to towards our room, for the night I always crave for.