SooKai Oneshots

~Lost Boy~

Theme - Depression

Timeline - Modern Day

!!WARNING!! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS CURSING, SLURS,DEPRESSION,AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE MENTALLY UNSTABLE TO HANDLE IT. PLEASE GET HELP IF YOU SUFFER WITH SIMILAR THOUGHTS.

USA SUICIDE HOTLINE: 1-800-273-8255

UK SUICIDE HOTLINE:0800-068-4141

Its hard to be perfect in such a cruel world, in such a world that shuns you for who you love or what race you are. More importantly its hard to be perfect when everyone around you puts you down for being different. At Least that's what Soobin has been thinking for over 7 years, realizing at a young age that no one will love him for himself, no will see him for the person he wants to be. So he walks through school silently, head hung low as he clung to the books in his arms. You see, Soobin didn't have friends like most 18 year old kids did. He spent every day in school by himself, being pushed around by others who sees him only as a punching bag.

Soobin was always bullied at school. He couldn't get through a day of school without being called names or beaten up. It doesn't help that even at home he cant get relief from the stress of school. You see his parents always fought at home, paying no mind to their own sons mental state and feelings. So he spent his time at home either crying or screaming at himself, blaming himself for his parents fighting, blaming himself for every word that was cursed at him whether in school or at home. Hes merely a shell of what he might have once been. He doesn't remember what it feels like to be wanted, or loved, he felt very empty and lonely.

Maybe that's why hes so lost in thought today at school, taking no information in as his mind was caught up on one thing. Soobin promised himself he wouldn't fall into these thoughts, but its hard to deny the screaming voice in his head, telling him to do it. To make matters worse every other person today has said something negative towards him. 'Maybe today is the day.' He thought, glancing at the fresh cuts he had made that morning, they were so easily hidden under his long sleeved hoodie.

At lunch he ended up sitting by himself, he didn't eat, he just sat and thought about his plan. Soobin glanced around at the kids who were talking to each other in the cafeteria, how happy they looked, how they didn't even know he really existed. Letting a deep sigh leave his trembling lips as he stood from his table. He didn't grab his bag or any of his belongings, even leaving what seemed to be a folded note on the table before abandoning it and walking away.

While Soobin thought no one would notice, he was wrong. A boy was silently watching, has been for weeks, maybe even months. HueningKai, a young junior in this hell of a school seemed to be the only one to notice how mentally distraught and drained the older looked. Kai watched with worry as Soobin left the cafeteria, he was quick to get up from his table that his friends were sat at. Without hesitation he grabbed the note and opened it, reading the shakey words on the page. He felt frozen at the words on the page. Kai had always hoped he'd never have to read another one of these, not after his father's passing, yet here he was. 'Today is the day, no one has realized yet, but this is it. After today I'll be free, I'll be happy. If you are reading this, I should already be far gone. I almost doubt anyone will see this. I just feel so empty, so unloved, so lonely. No one understands this, no one sees whats wrong. Everyone just pushes me, calls me names, curses at me. Well now you don't have to tell me to kill myself anymore. I've caved in, I can't take this anymore. Goodbye - Choi Soobin' Kai read every word with care before holding back tears and quickly fleeing to find Soobin.

Soobin however had found himself on the rooftop of the tall building, "Tall enough I hope.." He whispered under his shaky breath, his heart has never pounded so hard. Tears slowly streaming down his face, but why was he crying? He had thought this through, he had planned this, so why is it know that he feels all choked up and nervous? With chattering teeth he took small steps to the edge, the gentle evening air blowing past his body like a sign of comfort. "I-It'll be quick and painless, and n-no one will care" Soobin tried to reassure himself. He closed his eyes as he went to take his final step off the edge.

Yet his breath got caught in his throat as he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist tightly. "I care.." Kai's voice whispered in a painful worry, gently pulling Soobin's weak body away from the edge. Soobin bursted into tears, pouring out all the emotions he'd been holding in. His hands shook as they covered his hysterical crying, feeling himself being pulled into a tight hug. "Its gonna be okay, I-I promise, it'll be okay." Kai reassured softly, finding himself falling into tears as the two melted to the ground on their knees. He didn't let him go, fearing he'll make a run for the edge. So he held him, held him close to his chest as he listened to his soft cries and sad whimpers.

From that day forward Kai spent every day with Soobin, talking to him and listening to every word he spoke. He was able to help get Soobin out of his abusive parents' home, he was staying with him for the time being. Slowly working on getting him to open up to a therapist about everything and actually getting professional help for his depression. On top of that, Kai never left Soobins side, he became his protector of sorts. If someone at school was pushing Soobin around Kai would defend him and protect his giant bunny.

As months past Soobin became physically happier, cracking smiles and even laughing with Kai. Therapy was really helping his mental state, allowing him to explain his thoughts and emotions. Yet there were some feelings that Soobin couldn't understand, they were so foreign. These feelings were new to Soobin, it was something he hadn't felt in a long time. Love. He felt loved by Kai, and he loved Kai. Soobin thanks him everyday for saving him, for being the only one who cared. To Soobin, Kai is the light that brightens his day, he is the soft wind that sends chills up his spine and makes him smile with the fuzzy feeling. He wouldn't trade Kai for the world, cause in his eyes, Kai is his world, and he hopes to remind him of that every day.

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AHHHH, this one was kinda hard to write without crying. Like I mentioned at the start, please if you are struggling with suicidal thoughts then reach out to someone for help. Someone will always be there for you, even if its no one you know just yet.