The Pact (Sterling U: book 2)

Chapter 14: Savvy

I'm tossing and turning when I hear Letty walk in the door. She took an extra shift tonight and is working the rest of the weekend, leaving me home alone at night with my thoughts. I loved having Nate over tonight, our pact still making me smile and when he touched me I wanted nothing more then for him to continue. For him to be the first person ever to give me an orgasm but like with all things, my mother had to ruin it for me. She had texted me, blaming me for something or another because she couldn't find something from when we were there for thanksgiving the other night. Yeah...because it's my fault. I let out puff of air at the thought. It always is. Get used to it.

I turn to my side, placing my hands under my head, and stare at my phone sitting on my dresser across the room. There's a strong urge to get up and text Nate. See what he's doing even though I know the answer is most likely sleeping. Considering Letty just got home I know it's somewhere around 2:30 in the morning. I clench my eyes shut, drowning out the noise of the shower going down the hall and try to relax. He told me I needed to relax, I needed to clear my mind in order to enjoy the sensations. I flip over on my back, letting out small breaths. In and out. In and out. I try my best to think of the way Nate's hands felt on mine, the way his rough calloused fingers ran circles on my inner thighs and I slowly let me hand drift downward. I glide my shaky hand over my stomach, the small patch of exposed skin from my raised T-shirt has goosebumps at the thought of me touching myself.

I clench my eyes shut tighter. Concentrate dammit! My finger runs along the top of my underwear and I bite my lip forcing myself to think of Nate. The way his hot breath hit my ear, and how his tongue felt when he was kissing my neck. Ugh. I wonder how that tongue would feel in other places. My finger slips under my panties and I slowly, nervously, push my folds to the side. Almost there. My breathing shallows and I try my hardest to concentrate on the way Nate made me feel earlier but I can't do it. It feels wrong. I pull my hand back like I've just been electrocuted and groan at my failed attempt. Why the fuck can't I do this?! I can flirt with a guy no fucking problem but I can't fucking touch myself! What is wrong with me?

I throw my body on my stomach and let out a low scream into my pillow in frustration. All I want to do is be able to have an orgasm! Why is this so hard? I've had my fair share of make outs, some to the point of hot and heavy touching but even they never gave me a real orgasm. I'd always ended up faking it because I just wanted to get it over with, but no one's ever made the move to continue things along. To try to get me into bed. And if they did, it was someone I definitely didn't want. I look up at ceiling as best I can, "Why can't you make this easy? Why do all the boys I don't want want me and the guys I do don't? Huh? What'd I ever do to you?" I'm not too sure who I'm yelling at, whether it's God, or the universe or who ever the hell keeps sending these fruit tarts my way but I need it to stop. I flip back over onto my back and let out a sigh. Maybe Nate came into my life for a reason, he's going to help me find a guy to give me an orgasm. Does it really matter if he's not my type or not? Yes it fucking does! You have standards!

"Ugh!" I can't help but groan at my picky self. I decide that I'm just going to take this pact as a blessing. Whether I get more out of it or not, at least I know that I'm either getting an orgasm or I'm getting the satisfaction and amusement of knowing that an S will forever be carved on Nate's body.

I finally immerge from bed at nine, grabbing my laptop and getting some homework done before having to go work at the library at one. Before I can get started though I need to clear my mind so I grab my phone and send a text to the one person who's been stuck on my mind.

Me: What are you doing tonight?

Nate: What do you have in mind?

Me: Want to get started on our pact?