The Pact (Sterling U: book 2)

Chapter 38: Savvy

My minds been racing all day through out my shift. I got all of my homework done in an attempt to get my mind off of the steamy evening I'm about to have with Nate and what it actually all means. He knows I'm a virgin already so I don't have to say anything but we haven't had that conversation. Does he remember? Does it bother him? Fuck him if it bothers him, he should feel lucky.

I start to pace the floor and Lo laughs at me. I confided in her when she finally had enough of me jerking my legs. She admitted that she wasn't a virgin but she remembered feeling nervous her first time, for lots of reasons but she didn't elaborate.

But am I really scared? Am I nervous? Is that what this is?

I don't think so. I've been horny as shit since the first time Nate put his hands on me. Hell, even before that, and I would have gladly had sex with him when we were doing our pact so that he could give me an orgasm. I don't think there's anyone else that I would love to be my first. To have that small piece of me. But this is different. This is more. It's not just about orgasms and getting off. It's no longer just sex. This is Nate. This is the boy who told me he loves me wanting to have sex with me.

I let out a low growl as I stop my pacing. No, he actually didn't even say anything about sex and I'm working myself up for absolutely nothing. I need to calm the hell down. What the fuck is wrong with me. I was never freaking out before when he was giving me amazing orgasms, so why now?

"Because he's your first boyfriend and you're madly in love with him and you don't want to do anything to screw that up." I look up at Lo who's been watching me the entire time. I hadn't even realized I asked the questions out loud. Damn, I need to get my head on straight.

I let out a small chuckle. "How do you know that?"

She shrugs, "My moms sort of a relationship counselor. I pay attention."

"She's a therapist?" Harlow shrugs noncommittedly and I narrow my eyes. There's something she's not saying. After a few silent moment she concedes. "My mom's a sex therapist, alright. Please don't start with me. I've already heard all the stupid jokes and crap that people can say."

My mouth drops open and I blink a few times just staring at her before I mumble, "Oh my God, I feel like I'm in an episode of Sex Education and I am loving it."

Harlow laughs, "Well that's a first. Thanks for that. I've never heard that before."

"Oh my God, Harlow. That's really cool." She shrugs. "Your mom doesn't define who you are. Trust me on that one." She smiles at me. A silent moment passing between us,

"Enough about me," Lo waves me off, "Stop stressing. I'm telling you, Nate is all in with you. He doesn't care about everything else. He just wants you. If you're not ready just tell him. You said you guys were friends before anything else. It's all about open communication. Just tell him you want to take it slow and everything will fall into place,"

I smile at her, nodding but the voice in my head is saying, but what if I don't want to take things slow? And that's the problem because what scares me the most is that I can see everything with Nate and what if he doesn't see it with me. What if I'm just a for now girlfriend, while he's my everything?

As those thoughts pass my mind the gorgeous guy walks through the door brushing a hand through his chocolate waves. The minute his eyes meet mine everything else falls away. All of the frantic questions. All of the overthinking. It all settles. It all disappears. Nothing else matters but him and I and we will take it one step at a time, no matter the pace.

"Princess," Nate's husky voice hits me when he approaches, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me into his chest. My hands instantly lace around his neck and I stare up at him through hooded eyes. Damn, the things this guy does to me. "I got you something," he says as he leans down. His lips hovering over mine but the minute I go to open he pulls back, grabs something out of his back pocket and puts it between us. I look down and laugh. "You got me Reese's?"

He shrugs, "I figured you'd need a little pick me up after work." He leans down, kissing my cheek and then walking behind the desk to grab my stuff. I gawk at him and he lets out a chuckle when he makes his way back over to me, grabbing my hand and lacing our fingers together. "What?"

I clear my throat, "Nothing. You're just...it's all...very...sweet. I'm just a little shocked is all."

Nate frowns a little as we make our way out to his truck, "You should be used to sweet, Sav. I want you to get used to me treating you this way because it's not going to change." He throws my stuff into the car before pushing me up against his truck. My back hits the door and Nate's warm body traps me beneath him. My breath picks up as I look up at him. My browns meet his glistening grays and I swear he can hear my heart its beating so loud. "You're stuck with me, baby. For as long as you want and even after that because I'm still going to be here even when you say you don't want me anymore." His forehead hits mine and that's when I realize I'm not the only one with insecurities. I'm not the only one who's been freaking out about what's going to happen between us. I'm not the only one who's scared.

I grab onto his shirt, fisting it and pulling him closer to me. I close my eyes, relishing in the feel of him. "You're stuck with me too, Nate. I love you. I'm madly, stupidly and uncontrollably in love with you that you make me crazy. I'm scared. So freaking scared. But I don't want it any other way." I let out a breath, looking up to meet his eyes. "I. Love. You. And you're stuck with me, baby, so get used to it because I don't plan on going anywhere. Ever."

Nate smiles and my entire body feels like it was just set on fire. "Good, because you're coming with me to meet my dad and new stepbrother tomorrow night."

"What?" My eyes widen in shock and Nate laughs.

"Mhmm. I want him to meet the girl who's going to be in my life for...," Nate swallows, his eyes dancing between mine, "a very, very long time." His words are said in a whisper but the look in his eyes tell me that he wanted to say something else. Something more. And it spreads warmth throughout my body. I smile and reach up, my lips taking his. Nate lets out a groan before his hand cups my cheek, tilting my head to deepen the kiss and I'm lost. So utterly lost for this guy.

I love him and whatever crazy thoughts or nerves or feelings that were running through me won't stop me from being with him because for me, Nate is it. I knew he was the one from the moment I laid eyes on him and I plan to make him my only one. He's never getting rid of me and I hope he's ready for that because I sure am. I plan on taking him the second we get back to my place and showing him just how much I want him. I might not be experienced but I know how to take care of my man and it's time for me to prove it. It's time for me to give Nate an earth shattering orgasm and I know just how to start.