I effing love you

Part 57

"Right okay let me know if you need me" I speak down the phone before hanging up.
"Who was that love?" Simone pokes her head around the corner, she seems to have a habit of popping up places. "Oh just Jordan"
"Right" she acknowledges and places her legs on the table.
In the time that I was gone, Simone has come back home. It wasn't really my place to complain about it and Missy and Haley are giving her another chance..it's not really my place to complain and I don't mind not really if Missy and Haley deserve the chance of having a mum. The only thing is, there's not much space here now and with Jordan's dad only being out of the centre I don't want to be a burden to them either.
Mr Wilson did survive.
When Jordan rang me a day later I was burying him in my head and I have never felt such a wave of relief. I've been giving them there space, seeing Jordan in school or else in the park. I feel awful about Mr Wilson, it took a long time trying to convince Jordan he wasn't a bad person, he felt like he should have called someone sooner instead of going to London. Of course it's not his fault how couldn't it be? But I also felt a strange feeling of guilt and the image of him sitting up there on the roof and the sliding away replays in my mind.
I've been trying to keep busy, GSCEs are next week...I know!
I mean I'm pretty confident but at the same time there's a gnawing feeling of worry in my stomach,
I look over at Simone and see she's passed out on the couch, I smile to myself, I never really knew Simone that well mainly because her and my mum didn't really get along and because she was never really around but I'm proud of her for trying to become clean and she's kind to me. She doesn't ask many questions so really my life hasn't changed much since she moved in (which was only a bit over a week and a half ago!) but things around here can change in the blink of an eye.
"Ready to go?"
"Yep!" I say throwing my school bag over my shoulder, school consists of revision all day every day and it's seriously boring but we've all been holding onto the prom for something to look forward to. I suppose it's a last hurrah in a way.
"Is Jordan coming in today?" Missy wonders, Jordan hasn't been in school naturally for the past week, he's been there for his Dad and wallowing but I can't blame him for that..I've been really worried about him, it's not long since we've been back together and the last thing I need is him falling back into the drug running, because of his Dads situation they don't have any money coming in other than welfare. I've been trying to motivate him to study for his exams but they seem to be the last thing on his mind and when someone doesn't want your help it's very hard to forge them, especially when that person happens to be Jordan.
The yard is bustling with people and Missy, Haley and I head over to our usual bench spot.
"Have you got your dress sorted then?" Missy asks Razia,
"Mums picking it up today..she better not have ruined it!"
"What are you wearing Ali?" Nas enquires,
"Oh it's nothing too out there..just a dark green dress with some sparkles on the top" I answer playing it down when in reality I love my dress more than anything, it's one of my most favourite outfits I'll probably ever wear.
I got my Mum to come and pick it out with me, she's been doing really well and I figured it might be a nice bonding moment.
"It's GORGEOUS!" Haley says motioning with her hands, I just laugh and drag my school bag off the bench ready to face the day.

"Oh there you are!" I say running into Jordan coming around the corner.
"Yeah..just came in"
"Well don't worry because you missed a very boring maths lesson...seriously what does Mr Logan expect-
Jordan shuts me up but slamming his lips on mine, the hallway erupts with oohs and ahs and I don't pull away until everyone loses interest,
"You could have just told me I was boring" I say with a confused smile, he laughs quietly,
"How's your dad?" I ask holding onto his arm gently,
"Oh you know..."
"Talk to me"
"He's okay...not talking much..he seems oddly calm"
"Should he have stayed at the centre for longer?"
"Well..there's loads of people in em like..but he's got people coming around everyday and goes to meetings and stuff.." he sighs loudly.
"Hey..you know I'm here"
He looks into my eyes, "I love you ya know"
"I know.." I whisper reaching up to his lips once more.
"OI you two!" Mr Bell's booming voice ruins the mood,
We pull apart grinning, "This isn't fifty shades of Ackley you know"
"You wish sir!" Jordan says cheekily causing Mr Bell to clip him around the ear while we run off to find a lunch table.

"So prom!" I say brightly,
"Ughhhh kill me now!"
"Why are you so against prom? It's literally a big party"
"First of all stop saying prom like that and second of all it's not a proper party it's in the school hall with load of teachers!"
"Jordan don't spoil it..I've got my dress..beside this might be the last time we're actually.."
I don't finish my sentence because I don't want to admit it.
"Yeah...I've been thinking about that.."
"You have?" I wonder enquiringly,
"Well we'll just have to see what happens.."
"What do you mean see what happens?" I ask sounding angrier than I wanted to portray,
"Al..do you even know what you wanna do after gsces?"
"No..." I say stupidly "but neither do you!"
"Exactly...so we'll see what happens"
"That doesn't sound very hopeful"
"Ali..come on don't do this.." his voice sounds so tired that I lay off, I scold myself, I have to be more thoughtful around Jordan.
"So what's going on with social then?" I ask trying to change the subject even though there's an awkward atmosphere. It's a harsh reality that ever since Mr Wilson tried to take his own life questions were probably going to be asked about his fathering skills.
"Meeting the social worker after this.." he says motioning down to his lunch,
"Oh..do you want me to give you the revision work we did?"
"Nah it's alright"
"Ok...you know I'll give it to you anyway" I say attempting a laugh.
"Now that I know" he says smiling lightly.

The bell rings for class and Jordan and I part ways,
"Promise me you'll do some study tonight" I say pecking him on the lips, when he doesn't answer I grab onto his tie jokingly,
"I promise!" He laughs raising his hands in defence.
"Good luck" I smile and when I turn to watch him walk away he's already half way down the hall.
My boy, I think fondly.

Hey guys sorry it took so long I was crazy tired and had no motivation, this is kind of a filler but it's one of the last ones! Also I've brought Simone back in I know she was obviously more involved in the actual story of Missy and Haley and I didn't really include that but I just didn't think it would have sit well with Alison's situation, anyway thanks for all the support it's insane!! Hoping you all are staying healthy and feeling good I know times are hard right now but please try and stay positive or even do one thing every day that makes you happy..xx