I effing love you

Part 8

I sit on the bench for over a half an hour crying my eyes out, some people did actually walk past and looked at me with worry but some of them just kept walking and pretended not to see me. I don't know what I appreciate more to be honest. I'm starting to calm myself down now and I'm reduced to hiccupping with a puffy red face. I begin to think back over what's happened and I have to hold myself back from breaking down again. I know what I did was wrong and I know that the consequences will most likely be bad. Very bad. I'm so upset with myself, what if this means I won't be able to stay living with Missy and Haley? No, surely they won't take it that seriously, it takes two to tango and I was provoked. I should have known better than to give that Alya the time of day, I should have known better, her dad practically owns the school, so I'm guessing as usual she'll get away with being a spoilt bitch who thinks she owns the place, I do have witnesses though. Jesus Christ Alison this isn't a murder case.

I want to go find Missy and tell her everything but I can't, I can't go back to the school. I know I'll have to go back at some stage but not now. I'm so embarrassed. I know he should be the last of my worries but I'm so glad that Jordan wasn't there to witness the outburst, I don't know would he look at me the same way. I consider going to find Jordan but I have no idea where he lives. I start to shiver, it's not raining anymore but it's not exactly Marbella, it's Yorkshire. I can't go back home either there's no one there and I don't have the key.  I realise I have to bite the bullet, he's the only person I actually know around here who's not in a place I am to embarrassed to show my face at.

"Hey, where are you right now?"  I text into the snapchat chat. Ten minutes later I get my reply "why aren't you in school?" " long story, I could ask the same to you". "I'm down from the corner shop" "okay, can I come and see you?"                         "Yeah if you want". Jordan's reaction is pretty dead but I want to see him so badly that I don't care if he hates me more than anyone else in the world, it doesn't stop me getting my sad arse off the drenched bench and going to find him.

I approach the shop and see Jordan a little bit down the road with his bike between his legs. He's got his hood up but I know it's him, don't ask me why. I jog up to him from behind quickly checking my reflection in my phone. My eyes still look big and sad but my face isn't red anymore. In normal circumstances, I would have poked him or said something funny but suddenly I'm very aware that this is the first time I'm seeing him since the unexpected kiss, I wish I could go back to then. Jordan turns around before I can say anything. He looks at me still in my school uniform and then I begin to think my phone made my face look less red.  "What happened to you then?" "Alya, what about you?"                                     "Nothing"                                                             "Well why aren't you in school then?"                 "Just leave it will you", I suddenly feel hurt, I really want to talk to Jordan but clearly he doesn't feel the same "Right then I see what's happened-                    
"What are you on about?"
"I'm supposed to drop everything when you want me, I have to go and listen to you bang on about Candice and Cory and your Dad, I'm there and I listen and I've been nothing but nice to you but it's clear you don't care, you even got me to fucking kiss you and then didn't even text me all weekend!" "Are you serious??, you know what Alison GO FUCK YOURSELF"                                                                    "AM I BEING SERIOUS?? YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT, DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!"
A middle age woman came rushing over, she is wearing a purple raincoat and has blonde bob hair, she looks like the type of woman to pretend she's better than everyone else, but underneath it all she lives in the council  houses like the rest of us "Oi you two, this isn't the place for it, move on" It's all too much for me, Jordan looks like he's going to explode. I burst into tears. "Now, now there's no need for the waterworks" she says patting my arm. It's the kindest anyone's been to me all day and it makes me cry harder. Jordan looks at me and looks like he wants to leave but doesn't know how.                                                                    
"I'll take her home" I open my eyes when I hear him speak, he's put his hand on my back and tries to lead me away. "oh no you won't mister, don't think I don't know what lads like you are like" she says looking him up and down in disgust.                                                   "No, it's okay, it's not his fault, I'm just being silly". The woman doesn't want to leave and she stands there until we're gone out of sight.    "You should be in school lovey not hanging around with boys like this" her words are ringing in my ears as I walk away. Is this what people think of me that I'm some sort of stupid slag who skips school to hang around fighting with boys in the street.                                                                                                             "Where are you taking me?" I ask.  "There's no one back at mine, you can stay there until school is over", he says without budging or looking down at me. I don't want to go back to his house but it's better than sitting on my own for the rest of the day, crying in public which seems to be my thing. We reach his house, it's the end at the end of the row and I've actually walked past it before. It's not much but it's what I'm used to and I didn't expect anything more. He opens the door and I follow him into the living room.                                                         "Sorry it's not tidy, house full of lads you know"                                                                  
"It's fine", I don't feel like talking to Jordan. He gets up and leaves me sitting there, I didn't expect him to come back but he does. "Here" he says handing me a wet cloth for my face and a bar of chocolate.                               "Why are you being nice all of a sudden?"         "Because I like ya" he takes the cloth from my hands and starts gently wiping my face with it, the coolness feels nice against my flaming skin and I don't try pull away. I exhale and fall into the couch. Once Jordan drops the cloth on the table, he sits back with me and I rest into the crook of his shoulder. I can feel my eyes growing heavy from the day and I start to drift off.

"Jordan" I mumble sleepily "I like you too"                                                                             He pulls me closer and pulls down his hood. I notice a mark on the left side of his face but before I can say anything I'm out like a light.