I effing love you

Part 36

I'm so tired I simple collapse onto Nas's bed and I'm out like a light.

"No way!" I hear a raspy whisper from across the room. I'm still half asleep but anyone could hear Missy's loud voice even if you were the deepest sleeper on earth.
"So you don't mind then?" Nas squeaks. I decide to keep my eyes closed and lay still. I wonder what they're talking about? "Shes wayyy too good for you" Missy says giggling. A small smile appears on my lips, Nas has obviously just told Missy about Sam! I'm so happy for her, to be honest I don't understand why she didn't tell Missy until now, if there's one thing about Missy she doesn't judge, especially when it comes to Nas. I don't want to frighten them by speaking up so I decide to stay asleep for another few minutes.
I roll over groaning for dramatic effect, "Jesus you don't half snore" Nas says grinning at me. "I don't snore!" I say throwing my pillow at her. Mrs Paracha set up a bed on the floor for me, while Missy took Razia's bed.
"What time is it" I say yawning loudly, "half seven". I flop back down on the ground when I hear this, everything seems so much clearer now that I'm well rested.
"Do you really think it's Lara sending me these messages?" I ask the girls.
"Yeah..I mean it would make sense" Nas says sympathetically, "she did seem a bit mad anyway" Missy chimes in. It does make sense for Lara to be the one sending me weird messages..but I don't underhand why? Why would she want to do this to me? I mean yes, maybe she might just be a bit crazy but how could I never have noticed...how could I never have realised she was this bad?
I think back over the night I've had, it all seems far away now. Nothing seems as serious now as it did then..I feel safe here with all my family around me and if this is Lara sending messages..well then I don't feel half as scared as I would if it was someone I didn't know.
"What are you going to say to Miss Carter?" Nas asks interrupting my thoughts, "well..I don't know really I think I'm just going to explain the window breaking and show her the message..."
"You know she's probably going to go to the police?" Missy butts in,
"What- why would she do that?"
"Well unless you can prove that it is Lara..then the police will have to track the number" my heart beats slightly faster again..the police. I've never had to deal with the police in my life and even though I'm not the one in trouble, it all seems a little daunting..My mum got arrested once, for assault. She was on a bender and ended up attacking some woman in a park..I still remember the police car dropping her back home. I hid in my room peaking out the window. I was well trained..I knew if the police thought there was a "child" in her care they'd take me away...there was no point looking back, I should have just let them see me, it was only three weeks later that social services came and took me away. Mum tried to fight that woman too but it was no use... they still took me.

Mrs Paracha made us all have a big breakfast of toast and eggs before we left for school. It didn't do much to steady my fluttering tummy, it really just gave me something to throw up. "Now love you get in with me" Mrs Paracha says ushering me into her car. There wasn't room for all us and it was a cold morning, "no ill walk, I should clear my head" I say pleadingly.
"No ,no don't be silly, don't be silly, what if crazy girl sees you eh?" I just give her a small smile and settle into the back of the car. It's a bumpy ride and I have to take deep breaths to keep my food down.
I spot Jordan in the distance racing in the gates on his bike, he nearly whacks into a year seven and then starts shouting at them to move out of the way. I laugh lightly..I wish this was a normal morning where I could just walk up to him, laugh, go to class and have all the teachers nag about our mocks, then go home, have some alone time with Jordan, watch Netflix with Haley and then repeat. That's the way my life normally goes but something tells me today's going to be slightly different. Not slightly..majorly.
The car comes to a sharp halt, causing me to pull forward, my breakfast coming with me.
"Oh sorry I still can't seem to get the bloody stop!" Mrs Paracha says giggling. "Thank you" I mumble stepping out of the car and holding onto the door for support. Missy jogs over to me, she had to walk with Nas and Haley, "ready?" She asks me grimly. "No..not one bit" i reply my breath shaking.
I look around the school yard trying to find Lara..she probably won't be in by now, her dad drops her in his Range Rover.
The girls pull me close for a big group hug and Missy whispers in my ear "we'll sort this I promise" I smile at her gratefully and begin to walk into the school.
Mrs Paracha appears bobbing up beside me in the hall.
"You didn't think I was going to let you go in all on your own?" She says smiling.
"Thanks..Kaneez but I think I should do this on my own"
"Enough of that!" she replies, i realise there's no hope of getting her to leave me alone and I'm so overwhelmed, I stop in the middle of the hall and grasp her tightly.
"Oh-" she blurts out, people stop and look at me. "Sorry I- I just-" the hot tears starting to drip from my eyes, "shush now," she says linking her arm in mine and leading me out of sight of the prying eyes.
Once we get outside Miss Carter's office, she speaks to me once more
"Now..don't be scared, chances are this is some stupid school bully, who's just jealous of you eh?" She says handing me a tissue. Her kindness nearly makes me want to cry harder but I know I have to stop. If this is someone in school, they could be watching me right now and if I show people this has bothered me then it won't stop..it will only make things worse. I have to hold my head high..like I have always done.
I'm sure my eyes are still slightly red but I steady my breathing and take a sip of my water bottle. "This will all be over soon love" Mrs Paracha says looking at me dotingly.
"Alison?" I hear a voice shout down the hall as I'm about to walk into the office.
I turn and see Jordan walking closer and closer.
"I don't have time for this" I say before he can get a word in.
"Wha- why are you going in here?" He says gesturing towards Miss Carter's office.
"I said I don't have time Jordan" I say turning my back on him.
"You heard the lady shoo!" Mrs Paracha says ushering him away with his hands. He looks as baffled as ever but I don't care. I was baffled last night when he left me..he couldn't have even bothered to make up a shitty excuse. He looks at me one last time but I don't meet his eye and with that he storms off angrily down the hall.
"Oh and Jordan?" I yell after him, "make sure you're dad fixes that window". He doesn't acknowledge that I've even spoken but the interaction makes me feel stronger. I've got this, I don't need people who fuck me over.
I've managed my whole life up to now without Jordan so I certainly don't need him and his issues to bog me down now.