Hiraeth

ɪɴʜᴇʀɪᴛ

I lean against my locker boringly scrolling through twitter aimlessly. I look up hesitantly when I hear someone coming up to me.

"What's up?" Matt greets nodding in my direction. I nod back to him, looking back at my phone. Slightly furrowing my eyebrows as I read through an article. "Your birthday is in a few days,"

I turn off my phone, putting it in my pocket. "Yeah what about it?" I cross my arms over my chest earning stares from girls, who I've been feeling there stare from the second I step foot in the building.

"Party?" A smug grin starts to form on his face.

"Nah," I shake my head. Not really feeling a party. Only having one thing on my mind when I turn eighteen.

"Caden Jensen. Caden Jensen please report to the office immediately." A voice announces through the intercom.

"What did you do?" Matt joked. Rolling my eyes as I make my way to Mr. Lunez office. I swiftly knock on the wooden door. Hearing him calling me in right after.

I skeptically look at the middle age women in her work uniform standing in front of Mr. Lunez desk. Casting my eyes down to the file in her hand.

"Please follow me," she states, I follow her to the many conference rooms. She opens the door for me, slowly closing it behind her. Gesturing me to sit on one of the black leather seats. She gathers the papers that were inside the file around the wooden table.

"I'm Mrs. Juno, I'm here to discuss your grandmothers inheritance," She introduces. I slightly shuffle around uncomfortably. "Obviously you couldn't inherit her savings at the early age of ten,"

"Your grandmother only had you on her list of giving her belongings too," I knew Nana and mom never had a great relationship but I thought mom would inherit all of Nanas assets. "Meaning you will inherit all of her belongings when you turn eighteen,"

I buried all things of Nana when she died. Not like it was hard. The house had no memories of Nana. I didn't live far from Long Beach but I didn't live close to remember the memories we had.

"Her cars, house, her money she left for you, and basically everything she owned," she explained. I never really got over her death. It was all just time away from her. I know if I have all of her belongings, I would be opening old wounds. I can't say close wounds because I never actually closed those wounds.

I'm not even over her death, even if I don't like to admit it. But it's been over seven years. Yet it feel like I'm ten all over again. Feeling my throat tighten. My legs bouncing anxiously.

I'm having a panic attack.

A storming headache accruing right now, I can't even feel my legs now feeling it become numb. My blurry vision as I see a panicking lady.

Calm down Caden. I repeat again in my head over and over again. Slowly dropping my gaze to my shaking hands. Closing my eyes trying to get a grip on myself.

After chanting that I'm fine over in my head. I quickly get up from my seat not bothering to look at the worried lady who I already forgot her name. I can't do this today.

Ignoring the stares I received as I stormed out of the school. I drowned myself with the many memories of her storming inside my thoughts. The last time I visited her was the day of her funeral. Which was seven fucking years ago.

I snap out of my thoughts when I hear a horn coming from the car in front of me who stopped as I walk through the busy parking lot.

"Watch we're your going!" I yell at the three girls in the convertible. As they squirm frighteningly under my heated glare. I look away not bothering throwing them another look.

I slam my door close making people around me jump at the sudden noise. I rush to the usual empty grass land, which is a little away from town. Not getting out of the car just looking up at the gray sky.

Oh Nana how I could use your words of wisdom right now. I rest my head in the headrest letting a dragging sign escape my lips. Feeling a slow tear stream down my cheek.

I knew one day I have to revive the memories of my grandmother but it doesn't stop me from trying to drag those memories deep away from me.

I look over the beautiful flowers the empty grass land. I zoom my eyes over the white rose I've come to love at the early age of nine. I bite my lip knowing I'm not the only one who favors the flower.

Remembering the first time I have met her at the homey cafe. When we were nine. Does she still have the bracelet I gave her?

I slightly squint my eyes in embarrassment at my action. I cannot believe I gave her my bracelet. Yet I don't feel an ounce of regret. Feeling my cheeks slightly flush at the thought of her still having the golden bracelet.

I drive back to the house as we don't have tennis practice today. Slowly dialing the pin for the gates to open revealing the mansion I'm dying to leave. Opening the door quietly not trying to have mom and dad notice me.

Yet they were again to absorbed in there yelling. That they didn't notice me quickly walking up the long stair case. It wasn't anything out of the usual as they were always fighting.

I grab my headphones turning up the music all the way up until I drown out there screams. I've always know how to do basically anything just to pass by time. Sticking to my basic hobbies I don't bother changing. But loving a change once in awhile. Remembering the times Nana will tell my the importance of change.

I slowly think about my day over as I don't have anything better to do. I know Nana obviously wanted me to take care of her belonging when she passed yet I find myself hesitant to claim them. I know having her belongings will bring back memories I have locked in the back of my mind.

I know a part of me has to take her things and go over each and every item she has knowing that if I cherish her things than maybe I'll get over it.

I notice how Heaven hasn't been at school for over a week. I mean it's hard not to notice when everyone keeps mentioning it. People who never even had a conversation with her.

Maybe she needed time to her self since her brother did pass away. If the school is still silent about his death, her parents probably paid money to keep there mouth shut about his absence.

My eyelids growing heavy, falling asleep with only thing I hear is the loud music blasting in my ears.