Hiraeth

ɢᴀʀᴅᴇɴ

"You can go first." He said. Both of us laying next to each other looking up at the cloudy sky.

"I-" I quickly stop. "Wait hold on." He looks at me curiously. "This stays between us and only us." I state, he rolls his eyes.

"Well no shit Carter." He scoffs underneath his breath. "I can't have you going everywhere telling everyone my business." He said. "And plus I know you won't tell anyone. I won't say anything to anyone." He sticks out his pinky finger. "All even pinky promise."

"You can't break the pinky promise Jensen." Our pinky finger intertwined together. "My mom kind of um," i trails off. "Put me in the hospital." I cringe at my words.

I hesitantly turn my head, scared to see his reaction. He looked so lost in his thoughts, his mouth slightly open.

"Uh? Caden." I said awkwardly. He still looks in deep in his thoughts. "Caden!" I lightly push his shoulder. He shakes his head snapping out of his thoughts.

"Your mom put you in the hospital." He whispers, it's barely audible yet I still heard it. I sign looking back at the ocean waves. Wondering how it would feel to float with the waves.

I try to remove that whole day from my mind. I wish I could forget about what happened, I hate myself for being scarred from the event. It doesn't help that I tend to think every thing that happeneds in my life. That's why I get drunk it helps forgetting about the evil in this world.

Sometimes I'm scared to fall asleep fearing of re living that moment. Even though my wounds have now healed, instead I can't help but feel not healed out all? If that makes any sense.

Mom- Beatrice. I can't believe I even still label her as my mom after all the disruption she has caused. Was it disruption? Or was I one the whole time. Beatrice is going to court next month, til than she's locked up.

I snap out of my thoughts when I feel Caden evolved me into a giant hug. I couldn't stop myself from slightly flinching at the close contact. I couldn't see his face, I could tell he noticed that.

"You deserve better than that Heaven." He signs softly, running a hand through my hair.

"Your turn." I whisper.

"Nana died when I was ten." He confessed. "After that Joseph and Mia had custody over me." I furrow my eyebrows in confusion when he says his parents name. Like he senses my confusion he elaborates more.

"Nana raised me then they took custody over me when she died, I don't have a good relationship with them. So I moved out when I turned eighteen." I feel like he's leaving out something but I don't point it out.

"Well Jensen, if I didn't know any better I would say your a huge teddy bear." I tease, Caden holding me tightly as we talked. We slowly back away from each other.

"So Heaven since we shared our secrets you have to tell me something no one knows about you." He states like theirs no room for argument.

"I'm kind of a gardening freak." I admit. His eyebrows raise in surprise.

"Didn't peg you for the gardening type." He smiles.

"Yeah," I smile, remembering the times I would spend hours in the garden. "I haven't been in the garden since Romero's whole accident." I give him a sad smile.

"Then it's final I'm going to get you back into your gardening." He declares. "What's your favorite flowers?"

"White roses," I answer. Caden looks deep in thought after that comment. I look at him curiously when I see a faint blush coats his cheeks, almost like he's had a old memory he remembered.

"There mine too." He whispers. Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrows in shock. Definitely didn't see him as the flower type of guy.

"Really?" I ask curiously. "I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff." I'm not trying to sound stereotype him or anything, he just doesn't seem like the type.

"Yeah." He admits again. "Nana loved to garden her flowers, and she taught me some things. I've loved them since I first saw them." He said shyly.

"I don't really know why, but I've always loved white roses." I shrug. "I've always loved them even though, my favorite color is black." I lay back down beside him. "What's your favorite color?"

"Didn't know this was twenty one question." He teases.

"Well since were basically telling each other random questions, why not know your favorite color?" I try to be subtle about my answer.

"Okay well mine is-" he trails off when he stares into my eyes. He has such gorgeous eyes. There a mix of green and yellow. From afar you'll think they'll green but if you're close than there specks of yellow around them. "Mine is green." He answers breathlessly. I almost forget what he's answering too as we have been just staring at each other for awhile.

Caden's favorite color is green.

"Well it's your turn to say something." I said, slowly looking back at the cloudy sky, still feeling his gaze on me.

"I hate playing tennis." He said. I snap my head towards him in shock.

"You hate playing tennis?" I repeat back. He nods again. "How? Your the captain of the boys tennis team." I question.

"Mia and Joseph forced me to play tennis." He answered. "I'm good at the sport but I just don't enjoy playing it." He admits.

"That's surprising." I tell. "Your an awesome captain and good player." I hype him up. "But obviously not as good as me." I add in smugly. All he does is laugh. "But you love playing football though?" I turn to him, he looks at me like I cracked his deep secret.

"How did you know?" He looks at me suspiciously.

"Calm down Jensen." I roll my eyes jokingly. "I've known since I saw you playing on the stadium awhile ago."

"Oh I remember." He recalls back.

"You know what you should do though?" I said excitingly.

"What?" He laughs at my excited face expression.

"You should join the football team next season." I encourage.

"Is Heaven Carter encouraging me to follow my passion? Are pigs flying?" He looks at the sky mockingly.

"Your so funny." I said dryly, sarcasm coating every word.

"I know right!" He exclaims.

"Last time I'm hyping you up Jensen."