Through The Dark

16: Hope

Niall

To say that I fucked up would be putting it nice. I managed to ruin everything that I've worked for in my relationship with Sapphire in just a few minutes, because I just couldn't control myself.

But I didn't know what to do. She had me cornered and lost for words, twisting everything I could possibly say and turning it into an insult, when in reality I just didn't want her father to form a bad impression of me.

She was so mad when she thought I couldn't see myself being physically close to her that kissing her seemed to be the only right answer to her outburst. I just wanted to show her how I felt, without actually having to say it. That would be even worse. I thought that's what she wanted too. Why else would she be mad at me when she thought I wasn't interested in her? Maybe I was wrong.

But she kissed me back. Not only that, but she initiated a deeper kiss, which only made her reaction after that a lot more confusing.

She looked at me in pure regret. That look alone was enough to rip my heart out of my chest, shredding it into a million tiny little pieces. The way she brushed me off after made it pretty clear she had no interest in me whatsoever.

I finally got to taste her lips and hold her snug against my chest. The warmth of her body and the aroma of her lavender perfume engulfed me and pulled me into a trance I never wanted to escape. I longed for her kiss for so long that I was so content when it was actually happening. She was responding so positively, pulling me into her and keeping me there while her delicate fingers got lost into my hair.

I never expected that I would want to take that kiss back. I wanted to erase it from her memory, pretend it never happened and keep things the way they were before we ran into her family.

She was so carefree at that moment. I've never seen her act like that, at least not around me. She was actually smiling, playfully teasing me by stealing my glasses. She looked so cute wearing them and I wanted to stay in that bed with her for hours on end. But the harsh reality of the consequences my actions brought me was inevitable, and I dreaded the moment I would have to face her in class.

I nervously shuffled around in my seat, my leg restlessly bounced in its place as I had my eyes glued to the door, nervous to find out if she actually decides to come. To be honest, I don't know if I wanted her to come. I was so mortified by the whole situation, I had no idea how I should act towards her, and Louis' advice to 'just play it cool' was the most unhelpful thing I've ever heard in my life.

My breath got caught in my throat when I saw her walk through the door. I immediately averted my eyes to the black notebook infront of me, hanging my head low as my cheeks started heating up.

She took her assigned seat next to me and I glanced up at her, meeting her gaze but she quickly looked away and focused her attention to the teacher that just walked into the room.

Not a single word was exchanged through the entire duration of the class. She only looked at me when I went and handed our assignment to the teacher and that was all the interaction we had.

I hated it. I hated the fact that my own impulsive behaviour was the sole reason everything was falling apart, and I hated that I couldn't find something, anything, to say to her to try and salvage what we had. But I knew my attempts would be fruitless. So I just stayed silent, pretending to pay attention to the teacher as I traced mindless shapes with a pen into the paper of my notebook.

I zoned out completely, my mind blank of thoughts as I stared at the blackboard. The sudden sound of the bell ringing made me jolt out of my trance. I gathered my things and got up. I didn't realise Saph was already out of her seat and on her way to the door and I accidentally bumped into her side as I stood up. She stumbled a little and looked up at me, taken aback by the sudden contact.