DEAR HARRY, | H.S.

Seven

       Harry

      I felt like I could honestly sleep in this jacuzzi tonight. Every once in a while one of the boys would bang on my door asking me if I wanted to do something. The answer was always no. It was me time tonight, damnit.

        My phone chirped on the bed across the room. I knew that chirp, it was an email. My heart jumped a little in my chest. Was it Jamie? I climbed out of the bathtub and stalked over to the bed, completely naked leaving a trail of water behind me. I smiled as her email popped up on my screen. I walked back over to the tub, carefully placing the phone on the ledge first. I climbed back in sloppily and wiped a my hands on a towel. 

        I got comfortable and began reading.

        Dear Harry,

        I hope you're ready for this, because I am not. But for some reason I trust you.

        I laughed. Oh so she is the one who should be worried about trusting me.

        I'll start off with the songs. Over Again and Stockholm Syndrome hit me pretty hard. Over Again is probably the worst. It's almost like you guys took my current experience and read my mind. I literally sobbed like a child the first time I heard it. The voice that Louis sings mostly. "Whether we're together or apart, we can both remove the marks & admit we regret it from the start." That's literally me. Like I could end this right now and we could both walk away. It's one of the most painful feelings I've ever experienced and so real.

        I winced. That sent a jolt right through me. I realized she was being whole heartedly honest with me and I respected that. I knew how she felt. It scared me to think that this girl is a fan and she feels this way about her boyfriend, it made me wonder how many more fans were this down when listening to our music. 

        Stockholm Syndrome I guess is pretty self explanatory. I'm stuck in this little world, completely comfortable, but I know I probably don't belong where I am. But I don't want to leave, does that make sense?

        Yes, that's what I wrote it about. Exactly. On the dot. I rub a wet hand on my forehead, need some relief from the stress I began to feel for her. The reason I asked her what songs hit her was because if she was anything like me, she felt through music. That was her diary. Her diary that she was letting me read.

        I guess I just don't know what I'm doing. I'm too young for this, you know? This ridiculous committment. I may have already made up the my mind in my heart, it just hasn't reached my head yet. Don't you hate it when that happens?

        Yes, you clever, broken girl. This is why I wrote music. I wanted people to feel something. We were lucky enough to have full control over writing the new album. We always had cowriters, but they gave us all the freedom with it this time and it felt so good. 

        I've never really told anyone these things. Maybe it's out of embarassment because just about all of my friends think I'm in the perfect relationship, mostly because it's outlived a few of theirs. But it's not because we're madly in love or anything, it's just because we work. We respect each others privacy and need to do things alone. But where does that line actually stop? When are you actually just being aquaintances and not lovers anymore? The years just keep stacking on and it's like you're just together because you always have been. 

        I set the phone down next to me, the bulk of the email done. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and held back the single tear that I felt on my lower lashes. Hovering there, similar to Jamie's sanity. Just ready to fall, but holding on. I sniffed a little and grabbed my phone to finish off the email.

        Well, there's some of my story. Or all of it. Whatever you want to call it.

        There has to be more, Jamie. 

        On a better note, my favorite songs that put me in a good mood are Better Than Words and Girl Almighty. See? I don't only listen to your music when I'm sad.

        I snorted a little. 

        Jamie.

        She signed her name. Emailing her back was going to be a whirlwind. I started to wonder when it would be a good idea to start texting. Even if she would be into that with her boyfriend and all. He seems like a tosser who'd probably check her phone anyways. I shook the thought out of my head, I didn't know the guy. I was highly against disliking someone I didn't even know, there were plenty of people who hated me that didn't know me. I'm no better than them if I start thinking like that.

        I decided it was time to get out of the jacuzzi and maybe go hang out with the guys for a bit. Stepping out, I almost slipped on some of the water I dragged out when I went to get my phone. Wrapping a towel around my waist, I set the phone back on the bed and got dressed. Throwing on a black, sheer long sleeved shirt and some white gym shorts that I think were Niall's. How they got in my suitcase, I'm not sure. They were a little too short on me. I grabbed my phone and texted Liam I was coming to his room. 

        I needed some time before I emailed Jamie back. I needed to think this one through. Even though I thought through all of these emails, this one felt like I needed a little more time. I hope she wouldn't mind the wait too much.