DEAR HARRY, | H.S.

Ten

        Harry

        I'd been texting Jamie all day. I'd learned that her favorite color was blue. She had brown hair and hazel eyes. She is 23. She's an animal person. She currently had a cat, but only because her apartment didn't allow dogs. She only went to college for one semester and was currently working in food service full time. She wanted to be a writer, but didn't have the money to get a publishing degree right now.

        My heart jumped at the opportunity to send her to college, but that would be weird. Maybe she'd accept it if we talked more. I had too much money to know what to do with it. If I could use some to send Jamie to college, I would. I looked down at my $800 boots I was strutting on my feet. Little does everyone know, these were sent to me. Most of my expensive clothes were sent to me, that's just how it works. 

        Is it too soon to ask where you live?

        She immediately started typing.

        Green Bay, Wisconsin.

        I smiled, I'd only been there twice. Once on the Up All Night tour and the other when I went to a Packer game last year.

        I was thinking of stopping by while we're passing through Wisconsin this summer to see a Packer practice.

        Well, actually I wasn't. I just decided I was now. She took a little more time to message me back this time. Way to go Harry, scaring girls away again. Too forward. My phone chirped.

        I live a few blocks away from the fields.

        Convenient.

        Why?

        I laughed.

        I'd like to meet you.

        Why?

        I was full on laughing now. I looked up to see Niall waving me over to the stage. It was time to start rehearsing for the show tonight.

        That's a ridiculous question. 

        I nodded to Niall after I sent the text. She immediately was replying. I was grinning. No doubt the boys would know I was talking to a girl tonight.

        I know one of the coaches, so just let me know next month if you will. You won't have to worry about people. I'll get you in behind the fence.

        My stomach jumped. I have to go now. I will go now.

        Thank you so much, dearest Jamie. I'm off to work. If you want to call it that. Maybe I'll get to talk to you later?

        I tapped my thumb on the side of my phone, waiting for a reply. I was still getting waved over. We always practiced before shows for hours. I've been doing and not doing the same choreography for four tours now. I'm fine. I laughed. 

        Maybe. Jake wasn't happy I was texting so late last night.

        Jake. I hated Jake. I mentally slapped myself again for thinking that.

        We said our goodbyes and I shoved my phone back in my pocket and ran off to stage.

        Jamie

        He was coming to see me. 

        No, Jamie he was coming to see Packer practice.

        I rubbed both hands down my face.

        I was going to meet Harry Styles.

        I looked around the empty apartment. I was stuck between screaming and sobbing uncontrollably. I grabbed the pillow next to me, shoving it to my face and screamed as loud as I could. My heart was beating out of my chest. I didn't want to act like a fan. Even though I didn't feel like his fan anymore, I felt like we could be friends. So why was I so damn excited?

        I pulled the pillow away from my face only to see Jake staring at me from the doorway.

        "Jamie?" He asked walking in. 

        How long had I been screaming for that I didn't even hear him come in.

        "I'm fine." I said quickly.

        "Some pent up frustration?" He sat down on the bed next to me.

        "I guess you could call it that." I laughed a little under my breath.

        My stomach was still in knots.

        Jake leaned over and kissed my cheek, rubbing his hand up my forearm.

        "I could help out a little more than that pillow could." He winked.

        He was cute sometimes, I liked these moments the most. Unfortunately these moments were him trying to get me to bed and I usually obliged.

        "Oh really, how?" I played back at him.

        He smiled and kissed me. At first it was soft, but it got harder as he pushed me back onto the bed. 

        -

        Hours later, my starring role was put on hold. We had finished what we were doing. Well, Jake did. He always apologized and told me that I should probably talk to someone about my 'shyness' he called it. Even though we both knew I knew how to finish. He just never wanted to put in the effort. I didn't care, I got over it. That's not what relationships were about.

        I did always feel a little empty though after it was done. I felt like that was the only time Jake was completely mine. Like nothing in the world mattered to him except for me for those few moments of bliss. That's all I needed. I wanted to make him happy and he made me happy too in other ways. But sometimes it just seemed like the idea of Jake was better than the real thing. I always pumped myself up to see him and to be with him, but it always managed to fall short.

        I shook the thoughts out of my head and let him play his game, I checked my phone occasionally wondering when the show would be over. I'd go back to my apartment tomorrow and not have to worry about how late I was texting or how early. Not like I ever questioned Jake about his texting habits, right?

        My phone lit up on the couch. Okay, so I may have turned it to silent for good measure.

        Dearest Jamie,

        I smiled at the familiarity of the words. We'd only been talking for a few weeks, but it didn't fail to make me feel nostalgic about the emails we'd send.

        How was the show?

        I hit send and hid the smile creeping on my face. Jake was too deep into his game, he wasn't even watching me.