DEAR HARRY, | H.S.

Eight

        Jamie

        I usually looked forward to weekends with Jake. Not so much this time.

        I checked my phone more than normal, waiting for a response from Harry. It stressed me out more than it should have, I mean the guy is on a world tour. He'll find the time when he can. It still crossed my mind too many times throughout the day. I found myself messing up simple things at work that I was so used to. I could do this job in my sleep, but when Harry Styles was emailing me, I turned into a complete idiot.

        Listening to their music felt different now, it wasn't learning new lyrics, I knew them now. I had my favorites, but I loved them all. I was amazed how fast they became a big part of my life. Even if Harry hadn't emailed me back and I wasn't in this position, I think I still would have fallen in love with them.

        I packed the usual things to stay at Jake's. A few pairs of clothes, makeup, and some books. Reading annoyed Jake. He'd rather me sit and watch him do something 'cool' on Call of Duty. I wasn't allowed to do anything on my own when I was around him, he expected me to completely give myself to him in our small alotted time during the week. Sometimes I would fake calls from work and 'go in' for a couple hours. When really I went back to my apartment to be alone. Collecting myself, I would always come back in smiles hoping he'd be happy to see me. Most of the time he'd be in the same position, playing the same game, like I never even left.

        I pushed the hard thoughts out of my brain and replaced them with the good. I loved Jake. He's been a part of me for four years. That wasn't for nothing. Things will get better.

        I checked my phone once again, mentally slapping myself. As much as I wanted to replace my mind with happy thoughts of Jake, thoughts about Harry creeped their way in.

        Harry

        I rewrote the email, multiple times. Especially the part about texting her, I wasn't sure if I was moving too fast or not. I just hated the snails pace of emails and all the thinking that was put into them. I wanted to really talk to her. Get to know her between the lines. My stomach jumped at the thought of maybe calling her someday, I wondered what the sound of her voice was like. At that moment, I realized I was expecting Jamie in my life for a while yet.

        "Harry!" I heard Zayn yell from the bus. I looked up to see him hanging out of a window. I shook my head and laughed. Clearly drunk, that one was.

        "Come in an' have a drink, yea?" he slurred. I nodded and put my phone back in my pocket.

        Walking to the large door of the bus, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I grabbed it quickly, thinking maybe Jamie had decided to throw her number in right away. I was sadly mistaken when 'Nadine' read over the screen.

        I'm sorry. It's just too hard.

        I rolled my eyes. I don't think I could stand to hear that one more time. I debated on texting her back, but settled for shutting my phone off and stepping onto the bus.

        "AYEEEEE" Niall yelled, arms wide open. I grinned. 

        "Make it strong, yeah?" I asked him. They all cheered as I sat down next to Louis.

        "You alright, mate?" He asked.

        "No, but I'll be okay." I sighed. He patted my back. It was true. I wasn't okay. I was sick of giving my heart to girls who didn't trust me and had no reason not to trust me.