DEAR HARRY, | H.S.

Twenty-Two

Do me a small favor and listen to the song above before you read this chapter, try to imagine a montage of Harry/Jamie moments. I promise it will make this chapter better. x (if it won't let you watch it, it's My Heart Is Open by Maroon 5)

Jamie

The ride to the Green Bay was quiet with Sally. She mostly blamed me for the fact that I'd ruined her date with Niall, which was supposed to be today. I apologized to her over and over, but she was in the same boat as I was.

How could I mess up something so good?

I went out shortly after I collected myself and watched the rest of the concert. Harry carried on doing his job the best he could, but I could tell he was off. I didn't blame him. We'd said our goodbyes to the boys and that was it, Harry had it all planned out for us to leave. I got a short one armed hug and a kiss on the cheek.

My dream was over, it was time to go home.

"So what will you do about Jake then?" Sally asked breaking the silence.

I hadn't even thought about it really while my heart was still breaking over Harry. I guess I found some comfort thinking about turning back to Jake, being in his arms. Sure times were tough, but he'd never leave me hanging like that.

"I'll call him when I get back, we have a lot of discussing to do." I said fiddling my thumbs in my lap.

"You're just going to go back to him, aren't you?" She said turning towards me. I had a feeling I had this coming the whole way home.

"I can't just throw away four years of my life because I screwed up with him. And I screwed up with Harry, no wonder Jake was so mad at me." I said turning away.

I didn't want her to see the defeat in my eyes.

"I cannot believe you did that to Harry, Jamie." She shook her head.

"I didn't do anything. We're just friends." I said defensively.

"Jesus, Jamie really? Is that what you think? He's practically bowing at your feet, he's in it hard for you Jamie. And you just threw it away for jerk bag." She said angrily.

"Weren't you the one defending Jake?" I asked.

"That was before he hit Harry and almost hit you. He clearly has issues."

I could hear what she was saying. I understood. But in my mind, it was all my fault. It was all my fault everything happened. I decided to ruin something that was going good for me. Good for everything. Jake was safe, he was familiar.

"If I hadn't pushed him away while I was talking to Harry, he would have never gotten like that." I said, tears at the brim of my eyes.

"Stop blaming yourself, Jamie. I'm realizing now, maybe Jake is the problem." She said, quieter this time. Trying to be more gentle.

I shook my head no, I refused to listen anymore. My mind was made up, I'd go back to Jake. I'd make things right.

Harry

I hated myself for leaving her like that, but I had to do it. If she needed to figure stuff out with Jake, she needed to do it on her own. I couldn't be there for her while I was falling madly for her. It only hurt worse. If she really wants to be with me, she'll make her decision. If it's meant to be, it will be.

I grazed my thumb over her contact name for a while, deciding if I should apologize for everything happening so quickly. But I had the best intentions, I promise. I felt bad for Niall though, he really did like Sally. I felt like I may have taken that away from him. I decided against texting her, maybe I would wait a few days for her to sort things out and stop being mad at me. Or maybe she'd even text me back.

"I really liked those girls, Harry." Lou said playing with a few loose strings on his skinny jeans.

"We'll see them again." I said shortly. But I wasn't entirely sure myself. This could have been it, if Jamie were to go back to Jake I doubt I'd hear from her again. I bet he wouldn't even let it happen. In the end, I'd hoped she would be happy with any decision she makes, I just hope it's me.

I look at the guys scattered on the tour bus, we all were a little quieter than we were the last few days. I guess we didn't realize how used to being lonely we got on the road, that now here we are attempting to get used to it again.

"I really think she'll choose you, man." Zayn pat me on the back a few times.

I decided to go back to the bunks and sleep off these awful feelings. My arms felt empty, because they were. I wanted nothing more than to call her and tell her to come back and we'd run away from everything if she'd just tell Jake she was done.

I plopped down onto my bunk, when I turned my head into my pillow I realized it still smelt like her. I closed my eyes and grabbed onto the pillow. Holding it tight in my arms, imagining just for a second that she was right her next to me. When I opened my eyes again, tears escaped from my eyes.

"Damnit, Jamie. Come back to me, please." I said to myself.

I hated this. I did this. I didn't have to kick her out and send her back home. For all I knew, she'd hate me forever now. I said I'd be there for her and here I was crying into my damn pillow because I sent her away.

After all this time of emailing and texting, when I finally had her with me I just threw her out the door.

A/N: I RANKED #93 IN FANFICTION HOLY CRAPPERS.

Thank you guys so much, your lovely comments and votes keep me going and keep my head held high. I'm sorry this chapter was a bit short, I'm going to try to write the next one really long to hold ya'll over. I'm going on a short vacation in Madison, so I'll be gone for about four days, but I'll be available to answer any messages.

I wanted to wish everyone good luck on all of their final exams, whether you're in high school or college.

Remember:

You're braver than you believe,

stronger than you seem,

and smarter than you think.

Also, don't worry. Harry and Jamie will make amends soon I promise. x