Forever Yours

Chapter Twenty Six

"Siddharth.. mein--" Shehnaaz's voice was trembling with nerves. She clasped his hands between hers.  

"Tu bahot acche se jaanti hai Shehnaaz ki tu famous ho rahi hai, fans, haters.. har tareeqey ke log jaan-ne lage hai tujhe. Akele kahi bhi bahar jaana safe nahi hai, kucch bhi ho sakta tha--" Siddharth gritted out. "Kyon akele-- dammit kisi ko bhi saath le jaa sakti thi na tum?" 

"I'm sorry Siddharth, I know." Shehnaaz responded meekly.  

Siddharth was continuously looking at her, without blinking, as if she'd disappear from his side as soon as he closed his eyes. Shehnaaz was biting her lip.  

"Bacchi nahi ho tum yaar-- har time kisi ko saath rakhna hai.. khayaal rakhna padta hai. You have to be careful about your protection. Fans ko jab hum log kahi baahar dikh jaate hai na, unke liye diwaali ho jaati hai. Unko humse milne ke alaawa kucch dimmag mein nahi hota hai and we can't blame them. Personal space, regard for safety, sab kucch overlook ho jaata hai fan moment ke time magar.. hum logon ko sab cheez dekh ke chalna padta hai." Siddharth said, breathing heavily due to frustration.  

Shehnaaz was drawing circles on the back of his palm, trying to calm him down, whilst dutifully listening to him.  

"Mujhe.. nahi laga tha ki aisa kucch ho jaayega Siddharth. Mujhe bas dus minute ka kaam tha, mein waapis hi aane waali thi." Shehnaaz explained to him.  

"Waapis aane waali thi? Tum gayi kyon thi supermarket? Aur agar jaana tha toh Maa ko, didi ko.. kisi ko bhi saath le jaa sakti thi na?" Siddharth retorted. 

"Siddharth mein yeh sab kaam, khud akele karti aayi hu. Har baar baahar jaane ke time Maa.. didi ya tum nahi rehte the mere saath. I know mujhe careful rehna chahiye, but mujhe aadat daalne mein time lagega. Samajhne ki koshish karo please. I am not habitual to any of this yet." Shehnaaz tried to explain.  

Siddharth sighed, exasperated.  

"Siddharth.. please-- I know you're worried."  

"I'm not worried about you Shehnaaz, I'm not. I was terrified. Bodyguards hai, team hai tumhari, baa-kaayda log hai Shehnaaz aur woh sab tumhaari ek awaaz par tumhaare saath jahannum tak chale jaayenge. Kitna mushkil hai ek call karke, kisi bhi ek-- kisi ko bhi bula lena.. kitna--"  

Shehnaaz's heart dropped into her stomach.  

He's right.  

There are so many people who could be there for me and it's only for my own protection and safety.  

How difficult is it? 

She sighed, "I am sorry. I know you're not wrong. I can't even do this right. It was so simple, it was.. I can't do anything right, I'm so.. sorry."  

Siddharth blinked slowly. Shit! Too far.. 

Siddharth shook his head, realizing for the first time since the start of the conversation that Shehnaaz had been sitting on her knees, on the cold, hard floor in front of him the whole time. He immediately held her by her shoulder and pulled her to her feet.  

"I am sorry. I shouldn't have talked to you like that. You're new to all this and you're supposed to make mistakes. I'm supposed to be patient with you, not have you panicking even more." Siddharth said quietly, suddenly realizing how harshly he was talking to his little bird. Shehnaaz shook her head.  

"No you're.. you're right. Don't apologize." 

"I just really freaked out when I heard your voice on the phone and.. I was so worried the whole time." Siddharth cupped her face gently.  

"I didn't even know where you were, what kind of people there were and you were.. mobbed like-- tumhe chot lag jaati toh-- tumhe kucch ho jaata.. Shehnaaz.." He whispered, horrified.