44| he's awake

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JESSICA DAVIS

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JESSICA DAVIS

"I danced in Madison Square garden last week. Of course I looked like a pregnant woman acting on her hormones but what you advised did me some good.

I was there. Silent. Embracing the breeze slap my cheeks. Feeling him around me.

I could feel his hands move up my arms, I could see him smile at me and it warmed my heart.

I was there with him and I could hear him.

God, call me crazy but I could hear him boast about his impressive genes. I could hear him talk about how our kids were going to be more like him than me.

His parents visited me last week too if I hadn't mentioned that. I bet he would happy to see me and his mom get along.

They all miss him, I could tell. His mother most of all and I guess we bonded over that because we both love him so much that it hurts.

You know what he'd say if he were here? He'd say something sarcastic and conclude it with, 'I don't believe in this things. These people are a bunch of cons'.

And you were right, I--I needed to get away from here. I needed some space from him because seeing him there? Talking to him and not hearing him talk back, destroyed me piece by piece everyday.

I needed a break but that doesn't mean I'm leaving him. I can't leave him because last time, I was the one who gave up on him.

I can't give up on him this time around. I have to stick to his side and tell him I love him back.

I told you right? I told you the last thing he said to me before he shut his eyes? He said he loved me.

Even after I gave up on our love, he said he loved me and I didn't say it back but I will...I'll tell him I love him everyday. Today, tomorrow and forever", she sniffled pulling a handkerchief from her bag and dabbing it on her already wet eyes.

"I'm glad you took my advice. You said Seth's parents visited you? How'd that go?"

"It was nice. Having my family and his family on one table reminded me that everyone was there for me and my kid. They understand what I'm going through and they are there to lessen the pain"

"Did Seth's parents say anything about Seth or talk to you about him?"

"Everyone does because they are all worried about him as I am"

"I get that, Jessica but I want you to tell me what they said to you"

"Okay. They um they told I'm welcome at their home anytime and I could call them if I needed anything"

"And why do you think they told you that?"

"I--don't understand what they have to do with this. I guess they were being homey or kind"

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