Part 6: Lily's past⚠️

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⚠️TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains physical abuse and suicide attempts. So read on your own risks⚠️
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Lily's POV:

I'm the black sheep of my family...
A middle child with a crazy personality who is way different to fit into a family or society...

However,
My mom only likes my younger brother, and my dad is a fan of my older sister...

I'm a sensitive person who reacts to everything...
I can't hide or suppress my emotions...
Sometimes, I'd become overwhelmed by excessive mixed feelings that would make me speechless... unable to show what I wanted to say or how I feel...
Most of the time, whenever I'm angry or feeling unfair, crying won't let me finish my words...
I enjoy daydreaming, books, and the world of imagination...
I like to spend my time in nature more than crowded cities...
I can't tolerate unjustness...
I can't stand double-faced people...
I'm always honest, and I hate lies...

Everyone has always criticised me for whatever I do and behaved me badly, but everything became more awful 6 years ago...

~

There was a boy, Joe, who I had a crush on in our school for a year. Him and I were classmates and somehow were closed together. I wanted to confess and tell him my feelings. As I was uncontrollably nervous, I decided to ask my best friend, Suzanne, for advice, or should I say I assumed she was? So, I shared the matter with her, and she encouraged me to do it.

I confessed to him, and he didn't actually give me a clear answer, but he just leaned close and kissed me that day with a big smile on his face.

As a result, I thought that we were dating and he liked me back. We spent time on a few dates, and his physical touches were advancing day by day. Even though it made me a bit uncomfortable, I couldn't say a thing since I didn't want him to be disappointed in me...
I honestly was in love with him...
I wasn't able to see the truth, and I devoted myself to him completely...

A month later, Suzanne, Joe, and I were together for a school project at Suzanne's house.
While I was walking back from the bathroom, before opening the room's door, I accidentally overheard their talk, which made me freeze in my place.

And their conversation started with Joe saying to Suzanne, "How long should I pretend to like that weirdo girl?..."

-"Be patient Joe~... It's not time yet... Don't you pity her?!~..."

+"Why would I pity her while watching her give me cringe?..."

-"Be quiet!!!... She will be back soon!!!... Let's talk about it later, Joe!!!!!..."

+"But I want to be with you!!!! I still can't forget the day you approached me and said you liked me~... As I also liked you, I wanted us to date, but you refused and told me you'd date me later if I listened to you~... "

-"Hush!~..."

I peeked through the gap in the door and saw them kissing while my whole body shivered in fear, disgust, and rage. I was shocked and confused about what the hell was happening...

I rushed out of the house without encountering them. As I was running away, tears fell down my cheeks, and I felt like I was about to throw up... My heart was pounding, and my mind was spinning...

All of my memories about him, his smiles, his touches, his hands, everything was stormed into my mind to the point that it was killing me right there...

I headed home, ran to the bathroom, and turned on the cold water pouring down on my head as I shivered...

I felt disgusted by wherever he caressed it...
I wanted to clear his traces on my body...

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