Her Blue Eyes (GxG) [Completed]

Chapter 34: Another Wedding, Another Beginning

Lily's POV:

[6 years later.] [17:30 P.M.]

"How have you been recently, Lily?"

Dr. Perry, my therapist, asked while she opened her notebook and picked up her pen.

I stuttered as I stared at the floor. "I'm doing... well, I guess."

"Tell me about how you feel about your book getting published?" She asked as she smiled.

I fidgeted in my chair. "Um... I don't know, actually... I feel excited that I finally got the chance to publish my poem book after working on it for a year and searching for a publisher for a while, but... I kinda feel empty at the same time."

"Hm. That's natural. We often feel a void inside our hearts after we obtain what we've sought for a long time, thinking that it's the end of our journey. Additionally, achieving a long-term goal can bring about feelings of anticlimax or uncertainty about what to do next, further contributing to the sense of emptiness."

She then crossed one leg over the other one and continued, "But, you should know that it's the beginning of a new path. Your career has just started..."

I nodded my head awkwardly. "That's true."

"How's your part-time job anyway? Isn't it hard?" Dr. Perry wondered.

I leaned back and whined, "It's pretty hard! Working under a university professor is no joke! But I'm grateful that he allowed me to work with him after graduation. After all, he was the one who introduced me to my publisher..."

She grinned as she scribbled in her notebook. "That's good to hear. There's no easy job in the world anyway..."

I chuckled awkwardly as I shook my foot. "Yeah."

"Is there anything you wanna talk about? It seems you have something on your mind." Dr. Perry stared at me, waiting for a response.

I glanced at the ring in my left hand while I played with it, feeling overwhelmed. "Faith... Um... D-Diana's friend... called me last week to invite me to her w-wedding."

Her eyes widened in response. "Oh! That's nice! Do you wanna attend?"

"I'm not sure," I said gloomily. "She told me that... Diana probably wouldn't be there since she's busy with her company's stuff... B-but... I'm afraid to meet her... Faith must have lied to me. How can she not be there for her?"

"Can I ask why you're afraid of meeting her?"

I stared at her blankly, not knowing what to say. I didn't know the exact reason. I just couldn't look into her eyes after what I had done to her.

Maybe I felt guilty...

I hurt her with my selfishness...

"Lily?"

I was drawn back to reality as Dr. Perry called my name. "I... I can't meet her... I just can't..."

Dr. Perry looked at my ring and said, "But I think it's time to confront it, Lily. You can't run away from it for the rest of your life while you're still haunted by it. Whether it's moving on or anything else, only you can do something about it. And you need to face it if you want to move forward instead of being stuck in the past."

I clenched my fists in frustration. "What if she hates me now? What if she gives me a cold shoulder? What if she appears with a new lover?!... I know I was the one who pushed her away, although I've always loved her, but... I don't think I can handle that!"

I ran my hands through my hair as tears welled up in my eyes. A sense of self-hate came to me. I chuckled nervously while my hands trembled. "I'm trash, right?... How can I... still be so selfish, worrying about my own feelings?"