Heart Attack

9

Lennox

I told Jesse I wanted to go home. How much I had looked forward to today, I just couldn't anymore. Not after Cameron and Lucinda. Jesse understood and was driving us home right now. He didn't ask anything, but he hadn't let go of my hand since we had put our shoes back on. His thumb rubbing over the back of my hand was the only thing that stopped me from crashing. I focussed on the feeling as I closed my eyes during the drive.

When we arrived at the house, I reluctantly let go of his hand and stepped out. I wasn't ready to face Bryn and Jake, they would see something was wrong the moment they saw me. I didn't look at him as I made my way to the beach. I heard the car lock and within seconds, he was next to me and intertwined our fingers again.

"Do you mind if I join you?" He asked carefully.

"No, I would not." I squeezed his hand. He didn't say anything else as we walked over the beach. It was cold out, so I chose a secluded spot between the dunes to stay out of the wind. I sat down and stared at the sea. Jesse sat down next to me, his hand running slow circles on my back.

"You've told me about your mum, so I think I should share with you too."

I pulled my knees against my chest and rested my head on them. Looking at him sideways. "I've barely told you anything. You don't need to tell me if you don-"

"I want to." He said. I took his hand in mine and rested them on my knees before lowering my head on his hand. "My parents are very successful people. My father is CEO and co-founder of Abbott and Jones, and my mother is a fashion designer. They never made it a secret I was an accident, and I was practically raised by multiple nannies. They give me everything I asked for, everything except their attention or love. It's been six years since I had Christmas with my parents. But I think in the twenty-one years of my life, we have spent five Christmases together and seven birthdays. I barely have any family and my time was spend between my school friends, my nannies and my granddad."

I lifted his hand to my lips and kissed it softly. His eyes followed the movement. "I'm sorry. No child or adult should ever go through something like that. Everyone deserves to be loved."

"I never been good at love." He whispered to the ocean. I followed his gaze to the open sea.

"Me neither. I mean I love my family but outside of them, I can't open myself up like that." I leaned my chin on his hand on my knee. It was silent for a while only the sound of the waves filled our ears. "Earlier you said I'm an amazing sister to both Bryn and Jake. But I don't see Jake as a brother."

"You dated?" He asked. He didn't look surprised.

"We did." I confirmed. "We dated a little over a year when we were sixteen. He was my best friend and things just happened. Bryn never knew about it."

"What happened?"

"We loved each other. We still love each other. But it wasn't that sort of love that you need to have to work as a couple. It's not like siblings either. It's something different."

"Something deeper."

"Yeah. He was my first love, my first everything. And I couldn't be luckier than to still have him as my best friend."

"It's obvious he loves you. He respects you and is really protective of you."

"Sometimes a little too much." I chuckled dryly. "But at least he's not as bad as Bryn."

"Is that why you guys never told him?"

"Yes and no. It wasn't only the overprotectiveness but also that Jake was our best friend, and we didn't want to break the three of us apart. We didn't want anyone to feel like a third wheel."